"Tampax" joke

A little boy went to the doctor's office and was just a little bit nervous, because he had to get a shot today. The doctor noticed this and tried to calm him down, "If you had a million dollars what would you get?" The little boy thought for a minute and said, "A box of tampax." The doctor was confused and asked him why? "Well," the little boy said. "The commercials said that if you wear them then you can swim, ride a horse, or do sports anytime you want to."

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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