Booth Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages in Ohio.

They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers. Read carefully for grammar, misplaced modifiers, and of course, spelling!

Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate Of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but the commandos made it.

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was A actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds Like he was sort of busy too. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and more...

Two guys are walking in the desert. One is carrying a lamppost, the other
one has a telephone booth.
'Why are you carrying a telephone booth? '
'When the lions come, I put it down, get into it and I'll be save'.
'O'.
'And why are you carrying an lamppost? '
'When the lions come, I'll throw it away, so I can run faster.'

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone. A2: Only one person can use the phone at once.

One Sunday, my priest asked if I could cover his Confession shift for him -- he said it was easy, since he had a sin list inside the booth which listed both sins and penance. I agreed and took the booth early on Sunday morning. Soon people showed up. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed adultery." "Adultery, eh?" I said. "You sly devil. That'll be three hail mary's, plus five bucks." "Thank you, Father." Another person came into the booth. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have embezzled money from work." "Embezzlement, eh? Naughty, naughty. That'll be 5 hail mary's, plus fourteen bucks." "Thank you, Father." This was easy, I thought. I can handle this. Another person came into the booth. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have commited the sin of butt-sex." "Butt-sex, huh?" I looked at the list, but I didn't see butt-sex there. I excused myself to see if I could more...

It’s 1984 and I am walking up Fifth Avenue in New York one summer afternoon when I am stopped by a police barricade at 51st Street. No one is allowed to cross over, and on both sides of the barricaded streets there are crowds of pedestrians.

“What’s going on?” I asked a bystander.

“The Vice President is coming by to give a speech,” I was told by the bystander, who pointed in the direction of a building opposite from us.

For those who don’t recall, the Vice President in 1984 was George H.W. Bush, who was elected President in 1988. We won’t talk about his offspring here.

While I was not a fan of the older Bush, the idea of actually seeing him in person was rather exciting. After all, it is not every day that you walk up the street and view the Vice President.

As I was waiting for the Bush motorcade to arrive, I heard a telephone ring. These were the days before cell phones, so a ringing telephone usually meant a street more...

Father Larry is in the confession booth one day when he has to go to the bathroom really bad. He Calls over to the janitor. Jim, the janitor, comes over and Father Larry explains that he has to go to the bathroom and wants Jim to take over in the confession booth for him. Jim explains that he is not even catholic and does not think it would be appropriate for him to take over, Father Larry insist and explains to Jim that if somebody enters the booth to just look up the punishment in the book on the table. Jim agrees and sits down in the booth.
The first sinner comes in and says 'Father I have sinned, I have cursed at my mother' Jim thumbs through the book and finds 'cursing at mother'. Jim reads the note and tells the sinner to say two hail Mary's and they are forgiven.
A minute later another sinner comes into the booth and says 'Father I have sinned, I cheated on my test'. Once again Jim looks it up in the book and tells the sinner to say three "our Father's" and more...

A Catholic priest was manning a confession booth for several hours and wanted relief. He asked his friend the rabbi to fill in for him. When the rabbi said he had no experience, he asked the rabbi to stay with him in the booth and observe what he did. The rabbi obliged.
A man confessed that he committed adultery 3 times. The priest told him to say 2 hail marys and put $5 in the box. Next, a woman told the priest he committed adultery times. The priest repeated his instructions. The rabbi then said he knew what to do and could take over.
Afterwards, a different woman came around and confessed to the rabbi that she committed adultery. The rabbi asked how many times. The woman said she did it once. The rabbi responded:
"Do it 2 more times. We're having a special. Three for five dollars".