Bored Jokes / Recent Jokes
When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster thanthe posted speed limit. Since hes in a good mood that day he decidesto give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of aticket. So, he asks the man his name."Fred," he replies. Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred," the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him thathe used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it."Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"The man replies, "Its a long story so stay with me. I was born FredDingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I gotolder I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree, so I wasFred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored more...
"Well, I must be going."
"Don't let me keep you if you really msut be going." said the bored host.
"Yes, I really must go. But, really, I did enjoy our little visit. Do you know, when I came in here I had a headache but now I have lost it entirely."
"Oh, it isn't lost," was the patient reply, "I've got it now."
The controller, working a busy pattern, told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?
Without missing a beat the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"
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Unknown Aircraft: "I'm fucking bored!".
Air Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!!"
Unknown Aircraft: "I said I was fucking bored, not fucking stupid!"
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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124. 7." (124. 7 would be the radio frequency for Departure Control).
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... By the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far more...
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
A Mexican newspaper reports that bored Royal Air Force pilots stationedon the Falkland Islands have devised what they consider a marvelous newgame. Noting that the local penguins are fascinated by airplanes, thepilots search out a beach where the birds are gathered and fly slowlyalong it at the water edge. Perhaps ten thousand penguins turn theirheads in unison watching the planes go by, and when the pilots turnaround and fly back, the birds turn their heads in the opposite direction, like spectators at a slow-motion tennis match. Then, the paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguincolony and overfly it. Heads go up, up, up, and ten thousand penguinsfall over gently onto their backs.