Attract Jokes

"You and your husband don't seem to have an awful lot incommon," said the new tenant's neighbor. "Why on earthdid you get married?" "I suppose it was the old business of' opposites attract',"was the reply. "He wasn't pregnant and I was."

The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

To attract maximum attention, it's hard to beat a good, big, dumb mistake.

Attract girls by being busy
When a girl asks you what you did yesterday, never say, "Oh, I just sat around and was bored." Better to say, "I was up early to run errands and take care of business, then played tennis, met a friend for lunch, and worked in the afternoon." Lie if you have to. And don't worry, you'll get used to it:)
If a girl calls and asks what you are doing, reply with, "I just walked in the door" or "I'm just on my way out to take care of business."
Don't hang on the the phone for hours talking to girls indicating you don't have anything else to do. Get the business of the call over, be pleasant, then excuse yourself.
By not calling a girl every night or contacting her every day, you show that you are busy and have other things that are important in your life besides her. This lets her know that she is going to have to compete for your time.
If you run into someone, be pleasant and friendly. Show that more...

A survey has found that about 90% of all Hallmark greeting cards are purchased by women. In order to attract more males to buy and exchange greeting cards, the following are some greeting card suggestions created to attract more male buyers: Cover picture: Dim, misty, moody picture of a vase of roses. Cover caption: Condolances Inside caption:. .. on the loss of your remote control. Cover picture: Nostalgic picture of a young couple strolling through a field holding hands. Cover caption: Darling, as we go into our 10th year together... Inside caption: I swear I'll leave my wife soon! Cover picture: Gold-leafed picture of a vase of red roses. Cover caption: Get well soon, darling! Inside caption: This house doesn't clean itself! Cover picture: Two men standing on lush golf course, one of them ready to putt. Cover caption: To my golf partner... Inside caption: Just to let you know, I'm sleeping with my secretary. Cover picture: Dark moody picture of a vase of roses. Cover caption: In more...