Boss Jokes / Recent Jokes

A young peasant girl of fourteen went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice. The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked.

"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.

"Look, I'll give you a raise."

"No," she said.

"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me."

"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her underwear and pointed to her pubic hair, "Look I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."

Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have it too...."

"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you more...

Boss: "Ive decided to use humor in the office. Experts say humor eases tension, which is important in times when the work force is being trimmed. "Knock knock." Employee: "Whos there?" Boss: "Not you anymore."

Steve had a problem of waking up late in the morning, because it would take him hours to fall asleep each night. Subsequently, he was always late for work. This angered his boss and he threatened to fire Steve if he didn't do something about it.
So, Steve went to his doctor who gave him some pills and told him to take one before going to bed.
That night, Steve took a pill as the doctor instructed and slept very well. So well, in fact, that he beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and took his time driving to work.
"Boss, the pill really worked!" Steve said.
"That's wonderful, but where were you yesterday?" growled his boss.

When you take a long time, you`re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he`s thorough.
When you don`t do it, you`re lazy.
When your boss doesn`t do it, he`s too busy.
When you make a mistake, you`re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he`s only human.
When doing something without being told, you`re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that`s initiative.
When you take a stand, you`re being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he`s being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of ettiquette, you`re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he`s being original.
When you please your boss, you`re arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he`s being co-operative.
When you`re out of the office, you`re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he`s on business.
When you`re on a day off sick, you`re always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be more...

The Six-pack Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Bill says, "OK, I`m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I`ll do it." 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.
Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?" "Steve`s wife gave it to me."
"That`s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
Bill says,"Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve`s widow.`"
She said, "`No, I`m not a widow."
And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?"

A person from Muzaffarpur narrates a story about an election campaign. A car broke down on the road. While the driver was tinkering with the engine, a rustic came along and asked if he could get a ride to his vllage which was a short distance away in the same direction.

"No," replied the car owner, "this car is only meant to take Congress voters from their villages to the polling booth. You go to your village on foot and then I may give you a lift."

The car drove away. The driver remarked to his boss, "Sir, I am sure from this man's village we will not get a single vote."

"That was the whole idea," replied the boss. "I don't want my party to win because it did not give me the ticket."

One day a secretary is leaving on her lunch break, and she notices her boss standing in front of a shredder with a clueless look on his face. The secretary walks up to him and asks if he needs help.
"Yes!" he says looking and sounding relieved, "This is very important."
Glad to help, she turns the shredder on and inserts the paper. Then her boss says, "Thanks, I only need one copy."