Bosses Jokes

Bosses are like legs... When they get to the top, they become asses.

Always walk with a document in your hands:
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. Those with a newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make certain you carry loads of stuff home with you at night. This will generate the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
Use computers to look busy:
Any time you use a computer, it looks like 'work' to the casual observer. You can send/receive personal email, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These are not exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they aren't bad either. When you get caught by the boss, and you *will* get caught, your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

BOSSES & TECHNOLOGYBoss: "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?" Dilbert: "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it toreboot." Boss: "Oh, that's right." Wally: "I wonder if he'll ever realise we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."

BOSSES & TECHNOLOGYBoss: "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?"Dilbert: "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it toreboot."Boss: "Oh, that's right."Wally: "I wonder if he'll ever realise we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."