Bounced Jokes / Recent Jokes
Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day.Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green.The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into on-coming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there it bounced onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolled down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the same pond. On the way to the pond, it hit a little stone and bounced out over the water, onto a lily pad where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very more...
Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. Shetold them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammedthe door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the dooragain with the same result-the door bounced back open.Convinced these rude youngpeople were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that wouldteach them a lesson, when one of them said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you needto move your cat."
This man, his wife and their Border Collie, Maisy were out for a drive in the country one afternoon in their new convertible, with the top down. The husband and wife were enjoying the scenery as they drove along. While unbeknownst to them, Maisy gave birth to seven puppies while laying on the back seat of the automobile. The couple continued to drive along, unaware of the new arrivals. Soon the road began to deteriorate and was beginning to become quite rough. Suddenly, the car ran over a deep pothole in the road, and one of Maisy's puppies bounced up and out of the car, landing on the roadway just in front of a police car that had been following the man and his wife. The police officer switched on his lights and siren, and soon had the couple pulled over to the side of the road. What are you pulling me over for? Queried the startled driver. The officer responded, "I pulled you over for creating a "Road Hazard, for other drivers!" What hazard? Asked the man. "A more...
Two guys went to Mexico to open up their own bungee jumping service. When they finally had everything set up in a plaza, a large crowd assembled around them so they decided it would be a good idea to give them a demonstration.
The first guy jumped and bounced at the end of the cord, but when he came back up his partner noticed that he had some cuts and scratches.
Unfortunately, his partner was unable to catch him, so he fell again, bounced and came back up. This time, he not only had some cuts and scratches, but he was bruised and bleeding as well.
Again his partner missed him, so he fell yet again and bounced back up and this time, he was really a mess. On top of everything else, he now had a few broken bones and was almost unconscious.
Finally, his partner caught him and asked, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"
Faintly, the first guy replied, "No, the cord was fine, but what the hell is a pi
Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up
to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but
rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the
water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly
toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond
and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond
and chipped the ball onto the green. The third guy got up and randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over
the fence and into oncoming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a
truck and hit a nearby tree. From there, it bounced onto the roof of a
shack close by and rolled down into the gutter, down the drain spout, out
onto the fairway and straight toward the aforementioned pond. On the way
to the pond, the ball hit a stone and bounced out over the more...
The popular blonde cheerleader bounced into the local card shop, looked around, then approached the clerk.
"Do you have any, like, real special birthday cards?" she asked.
"Yes, we do," he replied. "As a matter of fact, here's a new one. It's inscribed, "To the Boy Who Got My Cherry."
"Wow, neat!" she squealed. "I'll take the whole box."