Bout Jokes / Recent Jokes

one sunny day 2 cowboys were riding alond lets call them fred and george. well anyway george says to fred, fred there is an indian follwing us n fred says ohh dont worry bout the indian hes a week away.
next morning george says to fred the indians still following cause and fred says to george dont worry bout him hes days away.
this continues for a couple of days so one morning as they are just bout ready to head off again into the sunset george says to fred fred the indians gettin really really close so fred says well shot him shot him!!
so george gets his gun aims and then says NO NO i cant shoot him. and fred lookin puzzled says why not? george says because ive know him since he was a week old!

Dear Friends:
When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness and since several of you have openly called me a dirty son-of-a-bitch to my face, I know I must have done something wrong at our office party last Friday. The Office Manager called me today from the hospital and so this is my last day here. I would like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I would prefer speaking to each of you personally, but all of you seem to go deaf and dumb whenever I try to talk to you.
First, to our dear and beloved boss, Mr. Simons, I am sorry for all the things I called you Friday afternoon. I am very much aware your father is not a baboon, nor your mother a whore. Your wife is a delightful woman and my story of you buying her for fifty cents in Tia Juana was a fragment of my imagination. Your children are undoubtedly yours too. About the water cooler incident, well, you will never know how badly I feel about it and I hope they more...

There is a man that is makin a pole on how ppl feel bout blonde jokes. he goes up to a brunett and says "how do u feel bout blonde jokes" and she says "they r hilarious!" he goes up to a red head and says "how do u feel bout blonde jokes" and she says "I love them. I tell them all the time". He goes to a blonde and says "how do u feel bout blonde jokes" and she says "i think they may b a little offensive to mexican ppl"

NO. 10
Tyson already has his next fight lined up, with Lorena Bobbitt. Winner eats all.
NO. 9
This gives new meaning to "box lunch."
NO. 8
Reporter: "Evander, what did you think when Tyson bit off your ear?" Holyfield: "What?"
NO. 7
Spock-vs.-Tyson bout hastily canceled - John Corl, Rochester, N.Y.
NO. 6
What did Mike Tyson say to Van Gogh? "You gonna eat that?"
NO. 5
Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer? It has two bytes and no memory
NO. 4
Next bout: Tyson vs. Hannibal Lecter, with Julia Child to referee. To be held in Hungary. Billed as, "The snackfest in Budapest."
NO. 3
How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica? Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears. Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
NO. 2
Slogans for Tys * The T * Da * * Ear-Reconcilable Differences
NO. 1
When interviewed after the fight, Tyson's first remarks were that "it tasted like more...

Did you know that Mike Tyson has an upcoming bout with Prince Charles? It seems that no-one else has big enough ears to go 12 rounds.

That Jim Mica feller what posted that there thing 'bout the bugs on the TV sets in Atlanta was mighty sarcastic 'bout the South. I 'spect he don't know much at all 'bout this part of the country. Sure, we are different and special. That's why we done got a special Census form so that we can make the Federal Gov'ment unnerstand jus' how they need to count us. Everyone down here knows that a damyankee don't know nuthin. I'm attachin' the first part of our Census form so you kin see just how clever we really are when it comes to countin' people. I'll post the second part tomorry.
The 2000 Federal Census for Rednecks
Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not more...

Dear Shrink,
It haunted me for days, weeks, months, years. I couldn’t sleep at night. The sleep I got was full of nightmares and visions.
I fought bout after bout, fight after fight, with plagues of depression and insomnia; paranoia! Just the thought vexed me night after night, day after day.
I served stints in mental institutions, was even suicidal. Not even the normal 1-2 punch of Prozac and Zoloft would help.
Who would think that such a terrible and utterly disgusting act of cruelty and injustice could exist? Exist here in the United States of America, the land of the free the home of the Braves?
I could see a terrible wrong like this happening in third world anarchies, but here? The only place in the world where you can buy a six piece chicken McNugget and redeem 250 UPC symbols for a blue, red, and white basketball all on the same day!
I can still hear their merciless, nerve wrecking, voices; taunting him. They kept shrieking over and over that more...