Box Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to
take one item with them to help them occupy their time while
incarcerated.

On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you
bring?"

The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he
intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the
"Grandma Moses of Jail".

Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"

The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I brought
cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."

The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself.
The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did
you bring?"

The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought
these!"

The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on more...

One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I can't figure out how to get started." Her friend asks, "What's the puzzle of?" "From the picture on the box, I'd guess it's a tiger," replied the blonde. The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "I'm afraid that no matter what I do, I'm not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box." "Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde. "Because, you didn't buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes."

body: This is a true transcript of an essay written by a M. P. at the Parliamentarians English Exam (PEE). As many Parliamentarians failed it, PEE is not done in Parliament anymore.
The Sri Lanka Elefant
-------------------------
There is a three Sri Lanka elefants. One is a home elefant. Two is a val elefant. Three is a UNP party animal.
The elefant has 5 legs.
Elefant has long thunk hanging between. 2 white iworry tasks some have on both side of hanging thunk. These iworry is very moneyful. Some bad men rape the val elefant to get iworry.
Elefants like to eat banananas, bunns, gnanakathas, like that. It like to drink milk and toddy. Like you and other people elefants send extra food out to the world from the behind of the backside at the back.
Elefants have tail. This is to move its fly. Some time elefant is moving tail this way that way but his fly is not out. Then elefant gets angry and runs around like a man with prithi kashana.
Elefant more...

Have you ever noticed how the contents of a box are much more interesting before the box is opened?

The 3 convicts Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.
On the bus, one turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?"
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail".
Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?"
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games."
The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?"
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, "I brought these!"
The other two were puzzled and asked, "What on earth can you do with those?"
He grinned and pointed to the more...

10. Being told to' Think outside the Box' when you're in a friggin box all day long. 9. Not being able to check e-mail attachments without turning around to see who's behind you. 8. Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from any kind of gunfire. 7. That nagging feeling that if you press the right button, you'll get a piece of cheese! 6. Lack of roof rafters for the noose. 5. The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. 4. 23 power cords, 1 outlet. 3. Prison cells are not only bigger, they also have beds. 2. When tours come through, you get lots of peanuts thrown at you. 1. You can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.

A 9-year old boy was walking along a golf course caddying for his dad when he sees an old man teeing off from 3 yards in front of the tee box. " Excuse me sir, but your ball is supposed to be in line with the tee box, or just behind it." says the boy. "That's great son." the old man replies. "Now do you mind shutting up while I take my second shot?"