"MPS ESSAY" joke

body: This is a true transcript of an essay written by a M. P. at the Parliamentarians English Exam (PEE). As many Parliamentarians failed it, PEE is not done in Parliament anymore.
The Sri Lanka Elefant
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There is a three Sri Lanka elefants. One is a home elefant. Two is a val elefant. Three is a UNP party animal.
The elefant has 5 legs.
Elefant has long thunk hanging between. 2 white iworry tasks some have on both side of hanging thunk. These iworry is very moneyful. Some bad men rape the val elefant to get iworry.
Elefants like to eat banananas, bunns, gnanakathas, like that. It like to drink milk and toddy. Like you and other people elefants send extra food out to the world from the behind of the backside at the back.
Elefants have tail. This is to move its fly. Some time elefant is moving tail this way that way but his fly is not out. Then elefant gets angry and runs around like a man with prithi kashana.
Elefant never forgets. One day one man pull elefants tail hard and run away. You know no, how elefant. 50 years after pulling man die. When the dead man is going to the cementry our elefant is open the mini box and lifting his tail, do large bowwowal moment in box and run away.
Elefants are vary estrong. It can puss trees. It pusses and pusses and the tree downfalls. Elefant is conthrolled by manout man. Manout man is using tall hooker to pull Elefant's ear and he sometimes pulls Elefant's leg also. Manout man love Elefant and puts his bananana in Elefant's mouth if he is good.
Zoo elefant can dunce. Zoo Elefant can dunce and play hIs own organ. It also can shit on its stool. If you give money zoo elefant will take you for a ride down garden path.
Elefant is large gift to people of SriLanka. We must look after our elefant, then elefant will do things on the fields, in the jungle, in the zoo - then we have lots of baby elefants. Then we can ex-fort elefants to other cunttrees and be povertyless.