Boyfriend Jokes / Recent Jokes
231. Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes.Operator: The power in the house in on? Blonde: Of course.Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes.Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine.Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.232. What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? Her husband is out looking for the other man.233. There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second more...
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity to each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted both to go to the same college, but, the girl was accepted to a college on the East Coast, and the guy went to a college on the West Coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and to spend anytime they could together.
As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around.
He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and e-mails trying to win back her love. She soon became very annoyed with his persistence and now with a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this: she took a Polaroid picture of her sucking her more...
The Eight Qualities Of A Perfect Boyfriend/Husband
Brave
Intelligent
Gentle
Polite
Energetic
Nutty
Industrious
Sensitive
And if all else fails, well. .. read the CAPITAL LETTERS only!!
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, and installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.What can I do?Signed,Desperate
A blonde and a brunette, are walking down the street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
The brunette sighs and says, “Oh, shit, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again….. for no reason. ”
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, “What’s the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers? ”
The brunette says, “Oh sure….. but he always has expectations after getting me flowers, and I just don’t feel like spending the next three days on my back with my legs in the air. ”
The blonde says, “Don’t you have a vase? ”
So, who does this remind you of? . ... (men, hint: if you answer anyone we know you are wrong....)
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19 Surefire ways to know you're a Woman
1. You are a Bitch.
2. When asked' Is something bothering you?' reply' no' then get pissed off when you are believed.
3. Become attracted to someone because he is outgoing and loves parties, start dating him, and immediately expect him to stop this behavior..
4. Always take an hour longer than promised to prepare for the evening.
5. Always hide very important events in very unimportant terms so you can have something to be pissed about when your boyfriend declines because he has pressing business, i.e. You say' It's no big deal, but I was wondering if you would like to visit my parents with me if you are not busy this weekend.' when you mean' It means a great deal to me for you to see my family with me this weekend whether or not it is more...
Q: What's the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?
A: About 30 pounds.