Brain Jokes / Recent Jokes

God created Adam and informed him that he had given him a brain and a penis. The brain was a good gift as it allowed him to do many things.The penis was also a good thing as it allowed the race to continue. The problem was that God had only given Adam enough of a blood supply so that he could only use one of them at a time.Men are naturally competitive. Even in the Garden of Eden, Adam was afraid Eve would like the snake's fruit better than his.

A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
“How much does it cost for engineer brain? ”
“Three dollars an ounce. ”
“How much does it cost for programmer brain? ”
“Four dollars an ounce. ”
“How much for lawyer brain? ”
“$1, 000 an ounce. ”
“Why is lawyer brain so much more? ”
“Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain? ”

I hear you are very kind to animals so please give that face back to the gorilla. I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper? I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter? I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late! I heard that your brother was an only child. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there. I know you are nobody’s fool but maybe someone will adopt you. I know you’re a self-made man. It’s nice of you to take the blame! I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!

A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.

The doctor said, "Well, this Ph. D. brain costs $10, 000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15, 000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50, 000."

The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"

The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."

Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.

Reads Homer in the original Greek, but doesn’t know Greek.
Ready to check in at the HaHa Hilton.
Ready to join the Anti-Mensa Society.
Receiver is off the hook.
Relatively three-dimensional, as fictional characters go.
Renewable energy source for hot air balloons.
Reposts this list when someone asks for it, but it’s an old copy.
Reset line is glitching.
Result of a first cousin marriage.
Result of God’s experiments to see if humans can function without a brain.
Room for rent, unfurnished.
RS232C brain with a DIN connector.
Running at 300 baud.
Running on a 286.

A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please." The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you." "Why not?" askes the brain. "You're already out of your head."