Brand Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two Americans, a businessman and a lawyer, were traveling on a train in Europe. Sharing the compartment with them were a Cuban and a Russian.
After an hour of travel, the Russian takes a brand new bottle of vodka out and asks if any of his companions would like to have a drink with him. All accept and so the Russian pours a drink for the other three and himself. Then he throws the rest of the bottle out the window of the train. The American businessman looks on in disbelief.
"Why did you throw that fine bottle of vodka out the window? In the US that brand of vodka is very expensive!"
The Russian replied: "In my country we have all the vodka we'll ever be able to drink. It's one thing that we have plenty of. I'll get a dozen bottles just like it for the equivalent of one US dime."
After everyone had finished their vodka, the Cuban got out a new box of fine Havana cigars and asked if any of his companions would like one to smoke. Every one more...

There's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper.
The trucker looks back and sees her on his butt, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his butt, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.
The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not more...

Two Americans, a businessman and a lawyer, were traveling on a train in Europe. Sharing the compartment with them were a Cuban and a Russian.
After an hour of travel, the Russian takes a brand new bottle of vodka out and asks if any of his companions would like to have a drink with him. All accept and so the Russian pours a drink for the other three and himself. Then he throws the rest of the bottle out the window of the train. The American businessman looks on in disbelief.
"Why did you throw that fine bottle of vodka out the window? In the US that brand of vodka is very expensive!"
The Russian replied: "In my country we have all the vodka we'll ever be able to drink. It's one thing that we have plenty of. I'll get a dozen bottles just like it for the equivalent of one US dime."
After everyone had finished their vodka, the Cuban got out a new box of fine Havana cigars and asked if any of his companions would like one to smoke. Every one more...

I tried to get stills from the Yaz brand birth control commercial to help properly describe it, but I couldn't find any. You have to see it, it's unbelievable.
First of all, "Yaz" has to be the skeeviest sounding brand name ever concieved by man. Why not just call it "Skank?"
Secondly, the commercial does this weird thing that drug commercials do lately, where they try to slip the side effect disclaimer into a casual dialogue between friends. It's completely fucking creepy.
So the commercial depicts some blond club sluts that look like they were pulled off Ardie Fuqua's MySpace list. (Look up Ardie Fuqua on MySpace to get that joke! It's a doozy!) The gals are sitting around drinking cosmos and talking (probably about black cock) when one of them brings up Yaz, the 24-hour birth control pill. She quotes several studies to her friends and then gives them a laundry list of side effects while her fellow cumdumpsters nod and smile blankly.
When she gets more...

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45.
To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back.
Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road.
The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs more...