Dynamite Jokes

A large, powerfully-built guy named Raymond meets a woman named Polly at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, Raymond stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, Raymond flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Polly begins to drool. Raymond then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" Polly is just aching for action at this point. Finally, Raymond drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, Polly grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. Raymond catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" Polly then replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer and he's shovelling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the strawberries to fertilise them.
The kid says, "Hey, Pop, learned in college there's an easy way to do everything."
They go downtown and get some dynamite, they're gonna rig it up under the outhouse and blow the crap into the strawberry patch. They get it all rigged up, but they don't see Grandma coming to use the outhouse.
BaBooom!
The manure goes flying and so does Grandma. Ploop!... she lands in the strawberries.
They go running up to her, "Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you all right? Are you all right?"
She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Whoo! I'm certainly glad I didn't let that one go in the kitchen!"

A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30, 000+, and has $400. 00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill... Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand more...

A large, muscular guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are kissing in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She smiles.
The man then drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!"
Finally, he drops his boxers, and after a quick glance, she grabs her handbag and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer, and
he's shoveling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the
hay crop to fertilize it. The kid says, "Hey, Pop - I
learned in college that there is an easier way to do
everything."
They go into town and get some dynamite. They're gonna rig
it up under the outhouse and blow the manure into the hay
field. They get it all rigged up, but they don't see
Grandma coming to use the outhouse. Ba-Booom!
The manure goes flying, and so does Grandma. Ploop! She
lands in the hay field. They go running up to her.
"Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you alright? Are you
alright?"
She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Phew! I'm certainly glad I
didn't let that one go in the kitchen!"