"Dynamite outhouse" joke
A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer and he's shovelling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the strawberries to fertilise them.
The kid says, "Hey, Pop, learned in college there's an easy way to do everything."
They go downtown and get some dynamite, they're gonna rig it up under the outhouse and blow the crap into the strawberry patch. They get it all rigged up, but they don't see Grandma coming to use the outhouse.
BaBooom!
The manure goes flying and so does Grandma. Ploop!... she lands in the strawberries.
They go running up to her, "Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you all right? Are you all right?"
She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Whoo! I'm certainly glad I didn't let that one go in the kitchen!"
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.