Breaking Jokes / Recent Jokes

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth' Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart

If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You

She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice.
When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense lawyer.

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice.When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense lawyer.

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed thestudents, pointing out some of the rules, saying, "Thefemale dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all malestudents, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anyone caught breaking this rule once will be fined $50."He continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule a secondtime will be fined $150. Being caught a third time willincur a hefty fine of $400. Are there any questions?"At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "Howmuch for a season pass?"

October 14, 1947 - Pilot Chuck Yeager flew the Bell X One rocket plane and became the first person to break the sound barrier.
BREAKING THE SOUND BARIER?
The New York Times reports that Nathan P. Myhrvold, Microsoft's chief technology officer, working with a paleontologist, has developed a computer model that provides evidence that some dinosaurs may have been able to use their tails like bull whips, creating a cannon-like sonic boom by exceeding the speed of sound with the last few inches of the tail. Thus, dinosaurs, and not Chuck Yeager, may have been the first life forms on the planet to break the sound barrier.
It struck me as somehow appropriate that Microsoft's CTO would concern himself with how to make a dinosaur go so fast. Sandy (AKA Ms Sam)
Chuckles Of Choice Web Site

When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law before the criminal gets arrested, we call him an accomplice. When a person assists a criminal in breaking the law after the criminal gets arrested, we call him a defense lawyer.