Brian Jokes / Recent Jokes

To men named Jon and Brian lived in Arizona. They both liked to drink. So, one day they were at work ( Airplane Machanics) and it was a rainy day. There was nothing to do so Jon said, "I wish we had something to drink. Brian told Jon that he had heard of somebody drinking Airplane Fuel and getting a real buzz. So they tried the Jet juice. The next morning, they both woke up feeling great, no hangover or anything. Then Jon phoned Brian.
Jon said, "How do you feel?"
Brian said, "Great no hangover or anything, we should try it more often"
Jon said, " Yeah, well, have you tried farting.
Brian said " No Why?"
Jon said " Don't I'm in Pheonix!"

Brian came into his wife's room one day. "If I were, say, disfigured, would you still love me?" he asked her.
"Darling, I'll always love you," she said calmly, filing her nails.
"How about if I became crippled and couldn't make love to you any more?" Brian asked nervously.
"Don't worry, darling, I'll always love you," she told him, buffing her nails.
"Well, how about if I lost my job as vice president?" Brian went on, "if I weren't pulling in six figures any more. Would you still love me then?"
The wife looked over at her husband's worried face. "Frank, I'll always love you," she reassured him, "but most of all, I'll really miss you."

Brian Mulroney is my shepherd I shell soon want He leadth me beside still factorys and abandond farms He restorth my doubt about the Tories He annointed my wages with taxes and inflation so my expenses runneth over my income surely poverty, hard living shell follow the Tories And I shell work on a rented farm And live in a rented house forever, Five thousand years ago, MOSES said,; pick up your shovels, mount your asses, and, I will lead you to the promies land!. one hundred years Trudeau said, lay down your shovels, get off your asses, an light up a camel THIS IS THE PROMIES LAND,!!! This year Brian Mulroney will take your shovels, sell your camel, kick your ass, and tell you he gave away the promies land,. Iam glad to be a CANADIAN Iam glad to be freebut if I had a wish this is what it would be that I was a dog and Mulroney was a tree THANK YOU

John, Brian, and Martin were sitting on the front porch, drinking a little 'shine, and talking about their dumb ole' hillbilly wives.
"You know, boys, my wife Judi is SO stupid. She went down to the store 'tother day and bought an air-conditioner! Hell, boys, we ain't got no 'lectricity!"
The other two just howl with laughter.
Brian the Miniature says, "Hell, that ain't nothing - my dumbass wife went down to the store and bought herself a washing machine! We ain't got no runnin' water!"
That one nearly slayed 'em.
Martin wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Well, I reckon my bride's GOT to be the stupidest of the bunch, boys. 'tother day I was snooping thru her purse to find me a couple dollars to play some poker with. I found six or seven rubbers - hell, she ain't got no dick!"

A primary school teacher was talking with her class.
Teacher: "Mary, what did you do at lunch?"
Mary: "I played with my doll, Miss."
Teacher: "Mary, If you can spell doll, you can go home early."
Mary: "D O L L"
Teacher: "Correct. Brian, what did you do at lunch?"
Brian: "I played with my ball, Miss."
Teacher: "Brain, If you can spell ball, you can go home early."
Brian: "B A L L"
Teacher: "Correct. Rangi, what did you do at lunch?"
Rangi: "I got hassled by all the other kids for being black, Miss."
Teacher: "That sounds like Racial Discrimination. Rangi, If you can spell
Racial Discrimination..."

Miss Blue(Teacher):"2 x 2 = 4, 4 x 4 = 16, and now, Brian, what is 16 x 16?"
Brian(Pupil): "You cheated, Miss Blue. You always take the easy one and give us the hardest."