Bride Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two teenage boys were talking in the classroom. One said, I took my girlfriend to see The bride of Dracula last night. Oh yeah, said the other, what was she like? Well she was about six foot six, white as a ghost and she had big red staring eyes and fangs. The other said, Yes, but what was The Bride of Dracula like?

A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a Bridal Shop and asks for a white dress.
"You can't wear white." Reminds the sales clerk, "You've been married three times already."
"Of course I can, I'm a Virgin." Says the Bride
"Impossible" says the sales clerk.
"Unfortunately not." The Bride explained:
"My first husband was a Psychologist, all he wanted to do was talk about it. My second husband was a Gynecologist, all he wanted to do was look at it. My third husband was a stamp collector, God I miss him."

A woman, getting married for the fourth time, goes to a Bridal Shop and asks for a white dress.
"You can't wear white," reminds the sales clerk, "you've been married three times already."
"Of course I can, I'm a virgin." Says the Bride
"Impossible!" says the sales clerk.
"Unfortunately not." The Bride explained; "My first husband was a psychologist, all he wanted to do was talk about it.
"My second husband was a Gynaecologist, all he wanted to do was look at it.
"My third husband was a stamp collector... God, I miss him."

Marrige Proposer praise the suiter. Bride's father questions the income and the job of the Suiter.
Marriage Propoer (Magulkapuwa): "What are you asking?
He has a top job and all others work under him. He transfers from branch to branch suprvising all tops!"
Bride's mother questions: "Is he a Bank Manager?"
M. Proposer: "He is even higher than that. He taps trees to make Toddy for top cash."
Marriage Proposer: Highly recommends the suiter. "She
is very pretty, musically inclind; enjoys in playing the Piano anytime."
Bride's Mother, "Apoi Pianota Gahanawnam, Aekaya Apata Apa......"

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once."A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again. The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse. His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."The farmer said, "That's once."

”Darling” said Santa to his new bride. “Now that we are married, do you think you can live on my small income? ”. “Ofcourse dearest”, she replied. “But what will you live on? ”

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, mom forgot until the last minute.

She dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into the suitcase.

After the wedding, the bride and groom entered their hotel room. The groom was a little self-conscious, so he asked his new bride to change in the bathroom and promise not to peek while he got ready for bed.

While she was in the bathroom, the bride opened her suitcase and saw the negligee her mother had thrown in there. "Oh no! It's short, pink, and wrinkled!" She exclaimed.

Then her groom cried out, "I told you not to peek!"