Broke Jokes / Recent Jokes

I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.

A large two engined train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down. "No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half power.
Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill.
The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly."

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.He asked the parrot: "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot.The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What`s your name?""Clarence," said the bird."That`s a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller, Jesus."

Your momma so fat...she fell in love and broke it.
Your momma so fat...shes on both sides of the family tree.
Your momma so fat she broke the family tree.

Your momma so fat...she fell in love and broke it.Your momma so fat...shes on both sides of the family tree.Your momma so fat she broke the family tree.

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $50 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers... we had $100 when we broke in!"

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in!"