Brooks Jokes

Become a Redneck in 25 Easy Steps: A Manual for Yuppies
Are you a wealthy and successful suit-and-tie yuppie businessman who has always had a secret dream that you would one day become a redneck?
Have you always wanted to be a Bubba, but didn't know how?
Is there an inner Cletus inside that dapper and dignified image, just hollerin' to get out?
Well, now you can become the redneck you have always wanted to be!
Purchase the following: one pair of overalls, one pack of chewing tobacco and six cases of beer. That is all you will need to start!
Now follow the 25 easy guidelines in our manual!
Caution: These instructions MUST be followed in your BUSINESS OFFICE.
1) We assume you are a dignified, well-groomed yuppie executive; therefore, as you read this, it is also assumed you are wearing a pair of well-polished $800 Brooks Brothers black dress shoes and silk socks, a $2,000 pinstriped Armani business suit tailored for you, a $150 silk necktie with matching more...

Garth Brooks and Billy Ray Cyrus are captured by terrorists.
They are brought up in front of a firing line. The head terrorist asks Billy Ray Cyrus for any last requests. To which Billy replies "Well, I sure would like to sing _Achy Breaky Heart_ jus' one more time!"
The head terrorist says "fair enough".
The head terrorist then asks Garth Brooks the same question. And Garth answers "shot me first!"

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of
her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry
answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third -grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in
the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if
he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the
first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him
and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought more...

This IT support pilot fish gets a trouble ticket for a user's CD-ROM drive that isn't working correctly.
But it's been a long week with too many dumb users, and fish is more than a little jaundiced. "Heck, I don't even know exactly what the problem is, but my first thought is that the customer isn't able to listen to her audio CDs," he says.
"I drift off in thought and begin making my assumptions," fish admits. "There must be a real user out there whose PC is blue-screened... and then there's this flaky user who's whining that she can't listen to her Garth Brooks CDs. Hardly a priority!... These machines are business tools, not entertainment devices.... We never intended that people would be playing music CDs on our machines...
"I realize I'm causing my own pain with these thoughts," says fish. Besides, it might be a real problem, he figures - at one point, the company received a batch of PCs with defective CD drives that require a patch more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.February 1, 1993Raleigh, N.C., police charged Vernon Edsel Brooks, 34, with robbing a Radio Shack in July, despite his foresight in disabling a video surveillance camera by taking the camera with him as he fled.Because he forgot to take the recorder to which the camera was connected, police found a tape containing a full facial shot of Brooks reaching for the camera.