Bucks Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you get when you cross 50 pigs and 50 deer?
100 sows and bucks (100 thousand bucks)
Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?"
"Sure that sounds great!" said Julie.
"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks alright?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening.
"Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner.
The man was amazed. more...
Your Honor," said the distraught woman, pointing to her husband, "he won't give me enough money to feed and clothe our four children."
"Young lady," the judge announced, "I'm going to see to it that you get at least a hundred dollars a week."
At this, the husband jumped up and exclaimed: "That's mighty kind of you, your Honor. And I'll try to give her a couple of bucks myself."
While the fellow is sitting at the bar, waiting for his beer, he pulls out a 12 inch pianist and a small piano. Seeing this, the guy next to him asks where he got the tiny pianist.
"I got it from my genie," the fellow replied. Not quite believing him, the guy next to him asks if he can try and wishes for a million bucks. Before he knows it, there are a million ducks flying all over the place.
"What happened!" exclaimed the guy next to him. "I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks."
"Well," the fellow said, "my genie is hard of hearing. You really don't think I wished for a 12 inch pianist do you?"
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to shake down the book-keeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.
The Godfather asks the book-keeper: "Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the money is hidden.
The book-keeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you'retalking about."
That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper's temple, cocks it up and says: "Ask him again!"
The attorney more...
Two friends were in a bar drinking a beer when one pulled out a cigar but he didn't have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.."I sure do," he replied and reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10 inch Bic lighter."Wow!" said his friend, "where did you get that monster.""I got it from my genie.""You have a genie?" he asked."Yes, he's right here in my pocket.""Could I see him?"He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a very small genie. The friend says, "I'm a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?""Yes I will," the genie said so he asks him for a million bucks and the genie hops back into his master's pocket and leaves the man standing there waiting for his million bucks. About this time, a duck walks into the bar followed by another. Then more ducks come pouring in. Before long the entire bar has ducks everywhere. The friend tells his buddy, "What is going on more...