Buddha Jokes / Recent Jokes
What word describes best a buddha wanking and sitting on a mat going Huummmmmm?
medibate!
Knock KnockWhos there! Buddha! Buddha who? Buddha this slice of bread for me!
A paratrooper was scared to jump. His instructor told him, "If anything goes wrong, say, `Buddha oh Buddha' and you will be saved." The paratrooper got so scared that he forgot to pull his rip cord. So he said, "Buddha oh Buddha," and a hand came out and saved him. He said, "Thank God," and he was dropped.
Three oriental girls are in the temple.
The first one is chanting, "Oh great Buddha, send me a man with a dragon on his chest!"
The second one is chanting, "Oh great Buddha, send me a man with two dragons on his chest!"
The third on is chanting, "Oh great Buddha, send me a man with his drag'n on the ground!"
Knock Knock Who's there! Buddha! Buddha who? Buddha this slice of bread for me!
Three Chinese women go to see Buddha. The first one says,
"Buddha, I want a man with three dragons on his chest. The second woman says, "Buddha, I want a man with two dragons on his chest." The third woman says. "Buddha I want a man with one dragging on the ground.
A Buddhist and a Hindu went skydiving together. As they prepared to jump, the Buddhist said, "If anything should go wrong-"
"Nothing will go wrong," said the Hindu. "But if it does, God will save me."
"Not a chance," the Buddhist said, "Because there IS no God. There is only your Essential Buddha Nature." The Hindu scoffed at this.
The pair leaped out of the plane. Halfway down, they discovered that their parachutes wouldn't open.
"My God!" screamed the Hindu. "Save me!" But he continued to plummet.
Just then he heard the Buddhist say, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature." Immediately, a giant hand came out of nowhere, cradled the Buddhist in its palm and gently began lowering him to earth.
The terrified Hindu too cried out, "I call upon my own Essential Buddha Nature!" With that, another giant hand appeared, cradled the Hindu in its palm and started gently more...