Buddy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."
"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.
They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he more...
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse, named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
Hey buddy. How late does the band play?
About half a beat behind the drummer.
there was man walking down a road on his way to a shop, he meets his old budy and they become friendly after sometime his buddy tells him i will give you 500 dollars if you remove your clothes walk into the shop and buy some two choclates, he agrees and strips handing over his clothes to his buddy, he goes into the shop and buys the two choclates but finds his pal gone with his clothes. after some time three ladies pass by and see him he stands still not moving at all, one of the girls go hey look at the candy machines they make these days, so the first girl puts a coin into his mouth and shkes his dic, the second lady did the same and walks with her candy the third girl also did but since the guy just bought only 2 choclates, nothing happened, so the lady tryed again and again, later her friends ask her if she got any candy, she said no, but they give a lot of face cream.
A male chauvinist tells his buddy over drinks, "I called the local insane asylum yesterday to check on who has escaped from there recently." His buddy asks, "Oh? Why do you wonder about that?" To which he replies, "Well, somebody ran off with my wife this week!"
In order to be a guy, a guy must follow the following rules at all times without question:
Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss' Ferrari
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into The Crying Game
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
Acceptable excuse for not helping a friend move: Your legs have been severed in a freak threshing accident.
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
The maximum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum.
Complaining about the brand of more...
There was this guy who had been to about every bar in town. So one night, he hopped into a taxi cab and told the driver to take him to the best bar in town. The cabby took him to a bar, where he got half-drunk. He hopped into the same cab and said that the bar wasn't good enough -- take him to another one. The cabby took him to another bar, where the guy had the time of his life.
The next morning, this guy was in yet another bar telling his buddy what a good time he had the night before, but he couldn't remember where he was. All he could remember was a red door and a golden toilet
seat.
"Man, we gotta find this place," said his buddy.
So the two spent half the day searching for a bar with a red door until they found one. They walked in, and the guy asked the bartender, "Was I here last night and too drunk to tell? All I remember is a red door and a golden toilet seat."
The bartender hollered to the back, "HEY, FRED. HERE'S THAT SON OF more...