Bug Jokes / Recent Jokes

Real opcodesAAC Alter All Commands AAD Alter All Data AAO Add And Overflow AAR Alter At Random AB Add Backwards ABC AlphaBetize Code ABR Add Beyond Range ACC Advance CPU Clock ACDC Allow Controller to Delete Contents ACDP Allow Controller to Die Peacefully ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time ADB Another Dumb Bug AEE Absolve Engineering Errors AFF Add Fudge Factor AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary AFP Abnormalize Floating Point AFR Abort Funny Routine AFVC Add Finagle`s Variable Constant AGB Add GarBage AGWA Add and Get Wrong Answer AI Add Improper AIB Attack Innocent Bystander AIB Attack Innocent Bystanders AISG Access and Improve Student Grade AMM Add Mayo and Mustard AMM Answer My Mail AMS Add Memory to System ANC ANnoy Consultant AOI Annoy Operator Immediate AR Advance Rudely AR Alter Reality ARN Add and Reset to Non-zero ARN Add and Reset to Nonzero ARZ Add and Reset to Zero AS Add Sideways ASQGSA ASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSI AT Accumulate Trivia AWP Argue With more...

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

Last year, my friend upgraded his GirlFriend 3. 1 to GirlFriend Plus 1. 0 (marketing name: Fiance 1. 0). Recently he upgraded Fiance 1. 0 to Wife 1. 0 and it's a memory hogger: has taken up all his space.
Wife 1. 0 must be running before he can do anything and seems to conflict/interfere with other tasks running such as hockey 2. 1, squash 3. 01 and boys out 1. 2. Although he didn't ask for them, Wife 1. 0 came with auto-installed Plug-Ins such as Mother In Law and Brother In Law.
Some features I'd like to see in the upcoming GirlFriend 4. 0...
- A "Don't remind me again" button
- Minimize button
- Shutdown feature
- An install shield feature so that Girlfriend 4. 0 can be completely uninstalled if so desired (so you don't lose cache and other objects)
- "Abort" button (O. K. that one's pretty bad - but had to say it)
I tried running Girlfriend 2. 0 with Girlfriend 1. 0 still installed, they tried using the same I/O port and more...

Major bug with VB-TP during compilation
REDMOND, WA (APR. 30) BUSINESS WIRE - Microsoft Corp. announced today that if you thought about the program at all before creating the EXE file, it would fail.
Instead you need to carefully think of only the file name and the concept of compilation in order to get it to compile correctly. It seems that the design mode environment does not clean up after all the stray thoughts.
MS technical support is recommending taking a cold shower during file compilation in order to remain distracted enough for it to work correctly. As an interim bug fix, all VB packages are currently being shipped with a towel.
Reports of users getting severe migraines when double-clicking too often with the MindMouse are unconfirmed. As an interim bug fix, all MindMouse double-clicks should be performed with Metallica playing in the background.
Aluminum foil around the head seems to work, but it doesn't look too attractive. It also adds a whole new more...

The Ten Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard on the opposite sexes genetalia
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, just give one or take one
3. Thou shall kiss at every given opportunity
4. If thou kissed someone, and was slapped, thou shalt not kiss her again.
5. Thou shall never bite when in the act of french kissing
6. Thou shall not pay for sexual intercourse
7. Thou shall not date members of state or Musicians
8. Thou shall not have sexual intercourse in public convieniences.
9. thou should never turn down free sexual intercourse
10. Procreate at will
Religions of the world
Taoism: Shit happens
Confucianism: Confucius say, shit happens
Hinduism: This shit has happened before
Buddhism: Shit happens, yet shit does not happen
Islam: Shit happens, is Allah wills
Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to me?
Protestantism: Let shit happen to other people
Catholicism: If shit more...

Last year a friend of mine upgraded from BoyFriend 1. 0 to Husband 1. 0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.

She is now noticing that Husband 1. 0 is also spawning Child Processors which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed her that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Husband 1. 0 installs itself such, that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. She's finding that some applications such as SpendingSpree 2. 4, GirlsNight 3. 5 and CocktailNight 7. 0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before).

During installation, Husband 1. 0 provides no option as to the installation of more...

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.

For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it more...