Bug Jokes / Recent Jokes
Twas the night before Y2K, and all through the nation
We awaited The Bug, The millennium sensation.
The chips were replaced in computers with care,
In hopes that ol' Bugsy wouldn't stop there.
While some folks could think they were snug in their beds
Others had visions of dread in their heads.
And Ma with her PC, and I with my Mac
Had just logged on the Net and kicked back with a snack.
When over the server, there arose such a clatter
I called Mister Gates to see what was the matter.
But he was away, so I flew like a flash
Off to my bank to withdraw all my cash.
When what with my wandering eyes should I see?
My good old Mac looked sick to me.
The hack of all hackers was looking so smug,
I knew that it must be The Y2K Bug!
His image downloaded in no time at all,
He whistled and shouted, "Let all systems fall!"
Go Intel! Go Gateway! more...
Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six-pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.
The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach standing there. This time he was knee'd in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then he left.
The fourth night Frank didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Frank and left him in a heap on the living room floor. The following day, Frank went to more...
For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSee if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to meAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to meTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to meRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to meAsk for a dumpRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to meReinstall the softwareAsk for a dumpRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did it andSee if they can do it again. For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to meSay they need an upgradeReinstall the softwareAsk for a dumpRun with the debuggerTry to reproduce itAsk them how they did more...
What would bug a guy from the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews?
Schemmer's Law (Organization & Programs): When an organization faces a 20 year threat, it responds with 15-year programs, organized with 5-year plans, managed by 3-year directors, and funded by 1-year appropriations.
Simmons's Law: The desire for racial integration increases with the square of the distance from the actual event.
SNAFU Equations: 1) Given any problem containing N equations, there will be N+1 unknowns. 2) An object or bit of information most needed will be least available. 3) Any device requiring service or adjustment will be least accessible. 4) Interchangeable devices won't. 5) In any human endeavor, once you have exhausted all possibilities and fail, there will be one solution, simple and obvious, highly visible to everyone else. 6) Badness comes in waves.
Thoreau's Theories Of Adaptation: 1) After months of training and you finally understand all of a program's commands, a revised version of the program arrives with an all-new command structure. 2) more...
Why was the lightning bug unhappy? Because her children were not very bright.