Build Jokes / Recent Jokes
What's the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.
Dear Mr. Architect,
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion.
My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don`t have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. more...
Why did the Romans build straight roads? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!
The kindergarten teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part where the first little pig was trying to gather materials to build his home. "... the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me, sir, but may I have some of your straw to build my house?'"
The teacher paused for a moment and then asked the class, "What do you think the man said?"
Little Tommy jumped up and down excitedly and said, "I know, I know. Holy fuck, it's a talking pig!"
Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products? So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.
If Ford built cars the way Microsoft build software, we would all be driving aircraft carriers
Indian build small fire stand real close, White man build BIG fire stand way back....