Built Jokes / Recent Jokes

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eight grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked "Am I my brother's son?" God asked Abraham to sacrifice more...

Ahmed was showing a foreign vistor around his country and bemoaning the lack of gratitude his countrymen showed him for his considerable achievements.
"Look here" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at this vast and modern ship building yard", and the yards were indeed vast and modern.
"I built this myself. I own it. But do they call me 'Ahmed the ship builder'? No! They don't!"
"And look here" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at the modern and efficient road system we travelled on today", and the road system was indeed modern and efficient.
"I own the company that built these roads. But do they call me 'Ahmed the road builder'? No! They don't!"
"And look over there" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at that towering city on the horizon", and the city was indeed towering.
"I own two thirds of those buildings. I built that city. But do they call me 'Ahmed the city builder'? No! They don't call more...

1. Battle droids in a high tech galactic civilisation where FTL travel is common have targeting systems inferior to those on a F-15.

2. Actually, their targeting systems are inferior to a spastic eight year old with a slingshot.

3. After the Jedi Knights have proven they can deflect laser bolts with their light sabers, the battle droids never think to stop firing.

4. Rather than having integral weapons systems, battle droids are cleverly designed to carry weapons that can be picked up and used against them by their opponents.

5. In the Star Wars universe, "Palpatine" means "Clinton."

6. A Phantom Menace character's level of annoying goofiness is directly proportional to the number of action figures of said character Lucasfilms hopes to sell to small children.

7. The Planet Naboo has underwater Rastafarians, but not underwater ganja.

8. Darth Maul has a black robe, a black shirt, black more...