Built Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Foreign Legion post in Morocco lost its commander in a skirmish with the desert tribes. A new commanding officer was sent out, and his executive officer gave him the grand tour of the fort. He showed him the well, the barracks, the latrine, and finally a particularly ugly and old she-camel. When the C.O. asked what the camel was for, the exec replied, "...Well, you know sir...there are no women here, and the boys...well..."
"I see" said the C.O. curtly. "I don't want to hear anything more about this."
Two weeks went by and the pressure built and built in the C.O., but each time the desire for sex overcame him he went and looked at the camel and lost his appetite.
Finally the day arrived when he could stand it no longer. He went to the stable and had a young corporal bring him a stepladder. He climbed up the ladder and fucked the camel until he was exhausted, only returning to the ground when he had taken his pleasure three times.
As he more...
If Ford built cars the way Microsoft build software, we would all be driving aircraft carriers
A history joke Teacher: When was Rome built? Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that? Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." The second said, "I sent her a Lexus with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Shammos in the shul 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:
"Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver more...
Once a english man came to india as a tourist. He appointed a guide for him. First the guide took the man to Taj Mahal to show him the beauty of the monument.
The english man asked "how many years did it take to build this one". The guide replied "it took about 20 full years "........ "20 years!!" said the english with a haughty voice and further said "our english men would have built in 10 yrs"......
The next day the guide took him to the' Hawa Mahal' in Rajasthan.... the english asked" how many years did it take to built this one"..... the guide replied "almost 10 years".................."10 years!!!" said the english,"our men would have built it in 5 yrs"......
The Indian guide thought that this particular english @#*&!*&)# man is trying to insult the wonders and that's where our Indian Attitude plugs in............
The next day seeing the' Qutub Minar' the english asked the same more...
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
"I had a big house built for our mother," the first son said.
"I sent her a Mercedes and a driver," said the second.
"I've got you both beat," said the third, with a grin. "Do you remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? Well, she can't see very well so I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire bible. It took the church elders many years to teach him. Mom only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out a letter of thanks to each son:
"Jason, the house you had built for me is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Matthew, I am too old to travel. Most of the time I remain at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And, the driver is terribly more...
Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly Mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our Mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well any more. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took Elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel any more. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the more...