Bunch Jokes / Recent Jokes

On a train to a large computer convention there were a bunch of computer programmers and a bunch of computer engineers. Each of the engineers had a train ticket. The group of programmers had only ONE ticket for all of them.
The engineers started laughing, figuring the programmers were going to get caught and thrown off the train. When one of the programmers, the lookout said "here comes the conductor", all of the programmers went into the bathroom. The engineers were puzzled.
The conductor came aboard, said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the computer engineers. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please". The programmers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A few minutes later the programmers came out of the bathroom. The computer engineers felt really stupid.
On the way back from the convention, the group of engineers decided that they would try that method, too. more...

Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the pharmacist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately, the husband drove downtown to accuse the pharmacist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store, there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. more...

What do you call a bunch of grandmasters of chess bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

Many folks have written with perfectly plausible explanations about why merchants take my phone number on a credit card charge. What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card, I'm not about to give out a correct phone number.

They make no effort to validate the phone number before I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people.

Now then... Why are they collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people?

I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that theives have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.

What has a bunch of balls and screws old ladies?
A bingo machine

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Many folks have written with perfectly plausible explanations about why merchants take my phone number on a credit card charge. What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card, I'm not about to give out a correct phone number. They make no effort to validate the phone number before I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people.Now then... Why are they collecting the phone numbers of a bunch of honest people? I once asked why you are asked for your phone number when using your charge cards. The clerk explained that theives have been caught because they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number, not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.

Three nuns were in the church the other day and the 1st nun says, "I was going through the Father's office and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!" "What did you do?" the other nuns asked."Well, of course I threw them in the trash." The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in Father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms!" "Oh my!" gasped the other nuns."What did you do?" they asked. "I poked holes in all of them!" she replied.The third nun fainted.