Bushes Jokes / Recent Jokes

A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of golf. He was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could to play.

"Sure," said the Pro, " But what's your handicap?"

Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit. "Well, it's 16," said the businessman,"But what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone."

"No, it's very important for us to know," said the pro who then called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the Pro, "his handicap is 16." The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle; again the businessman was surprised but decided to ask no questions.

They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4. "Please avoid more...

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."
So they awakened the old man and asked him to tell a story.
"Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest my feet. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep.
"I don't know how long I was asleep when I suddently was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest darned lion I'd ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this:
"RRROOAARRR!
"I tell you, I just soiled myself!"
The young men looked astonished and one of more...

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around.
The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire- place? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."
They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story.
"Well," he began, "I remember back in '1966', we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, 'ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!... ' I tell you, I just shit my pants."
The young men looked astonished and one more...

A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest."I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards.""Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man."After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.""Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man."You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly more...

A man goes to the confessional and begins, "Forgive me, Father, for I have
sinned."
"What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back.
"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I
feel absolutely terrible."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest.
"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going
to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the
fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100
yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Father," says the man.
"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his
mouth, and began to run away."
"Is that when you swore?" asks the priest again.
"Well, no," says the man. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle
came down out of the more...

A businessman was attending a Conference in Africa. He had a free day and wanted to play a round of Golf. He asked whether there was any course in thevicinity and was directed to one in the jungle.

After a short journey, he arrived at the Course and advised the Pro that he wanted to play 18 holes.

“Sure, ” said the Pro, “What’s your Handicap? ”

“Well, it’s 16, ” said the Businessman, “But I don’t see the relevance since I shall be playing alone. ”

“No, it’s very important for us to know, ” said the Pro. The Pro then called a Caddy.

“Go out with this Gentleman, ” said the Pro, “his handicap is 16. ”

The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. However, he paid it no more attention. The Caddy picked up the businessman’s bag and a large Rifle which he slung over his shoulder. Again the businessman was surprised but decided to ask no more...

Four major executives from various countries are playing golf together. On the second tee they hear a phone ring. The Canadian executive reaches into his bag and pulls out a cellular phone. "O. K. buy 100 shares," the Canadian tells the other person on the phone. Then he looks at the others and says, "I'm such an important person, that I have to make sure my employees can reach me at any time. Therefore I carry a cell phone everywhere." On the next tee, they hear the sound of another phone. All of a sudden, the American puts his finger to his mouth and his thumb to his hear and begins talking. When he gets off the line he tells the others, "I'm so important that I had my company install a microphone in my index finger and a speaker in my thumb. That way, I don't have to worry about carrying a cellular telephone." The people are very impressed and move on down the fairway. On the green, they hear another phone ring. The German stands up tall and says, more...