Busy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please? Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.
Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother? Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.
Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him? Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.
Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to??? Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here...but they are busy too....
Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!! Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.
One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer's hoof.
As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here."
The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said "Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these fuckin' prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."
Q.How do you keep a blonde busy for an hour.
A.Write on as peice of paper turn aroound on both side for an hour]
By Larissa Mitchell
10 Office Rules:
10. Never walk without a document -- People with documents look like hardworking employees headed to important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're headed for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're headed for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.
9. Use computers to look busy -- Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable more...
Part I: How do you keep a blond(e) busy? Give him/her a bag of M&Ms and ask her to alphabetize them. Part II: Why does that work?' Does 3 come before E or between M and W?'
Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers.
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?"
Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg.
"Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?"
Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.
This quiz is dedicated to all of those people who find themselves constantly roaming the net. Do you leave yourself logged in twenty-four hours a day, even when you're not home? Is your wpm typing speed higher than your IQ? Are you having trouble seeing things at distances greater than 2 feet? Yes, YOU. You know who you are.
Ok... shall we begin? Yes? 5 points... (you could've backed out.)
Unless otherwise stated, point values are as follows:
2 for (a), 4 for (b), 6 for (c), and 10 for (d).
How many valid net addresses do you have?
Multiple machines at the same site do not count.
How many hours did it take for you to create your. sig?
a) Huh?
b) More than one
c) More than five
d) I'm still looking for a really funky quote
On an average working day, how many email messages do you receive?
a) Nobody sends me any mail... sniff
b) Three, but they're all from Lester in the next cubicle over, more...