Busy Jokes / Recent Jokes

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.
The dining room table with clutter was spread
With pedigree charts and with letters which said...
"Too bad about the data for which you wrote
Sank in a storm on an ill fated boat."
Stacks of old copies of wills and the such
Were proof that my work had become much too much.
Our children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
And I at my table was ready to drop
From work on my album with photos to crop.
Christmas was here, and of such was my lot
That presents and goodies and toys I forgot.
Had I not been so busy with grandparent's wills,
I'd not have forgotten to shop for such thrills.
While others had bought gifts that would bring Christmas cheer;
I'd spent time researching those birth dates and years.
While I was thus musing about my sad more...

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd----no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. "A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Elizabeth's Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agreed and brought the octogenarian over to where the dying man lay. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice: "Under the B, 4. Under the I, 19. Under the N, 38. Under the G, 54. Under th e O, 72.. . "

On a busy day, on a busy corner, there is a big accident in which there is a victim. The man who has been injured request for a priest.
The police officer on the scene turns around and ask if there is a priest in the crowd. Nobody answers. The man still cryes out "A priest, a priest please".
The officer once again turns around and ask if there is a priest in the crowd. Suddenly, an old jewish rabby comes up and say "Officer, I'm a old 70 years old Rabbi, but I've lived for 20 years behind St. Patrick church. Every night I hear them in their prayers. Maybe I can help."
So the officer bring the Rabbi to the dying man. The Rabbi kneels down and addresses these following words to the dying man:
"B1-I18-N44-G56-O75"

On a busy day, on a busy corner, there is a big accident in which there is a victim. The man who has been injured request for a priest.The police officer on the scene turns around and ask if there is a priest in the crowd. Nobody answers. The man still cryes out "A priest, a priest please".The officer once again turns around and ask if there is a priest in the crowd. Suddenly, an old jewish rabby comes up and say "Officer, I'm a old 70 years old Rabbi, but I've lived for 20 years behind St. Patrick church. Every night I hear them in their prayers. Maybe I can help."So the officer bring the Rabbi to the dying man. The Rabbi kneels down and addresses these following words to the dying man:"B1-I18-N44-G56-O75"

Men:

1. All men are extremely busy.

2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.

3. Although they have time for women, they don`t really care for them.

4. Although they don`t really care for them, they always have one Around.

5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their Luck with others.

6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off If the women leaves them.

7. Although the women leaves them they still don`t learn from their Mistakes and still try their luck with others.


Women:

1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.

2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive Clothes.

3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.

4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress more...

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."
The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head.
The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this."
Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Jeff tugged him more...

How do you keep a blonde busy? (see below)
How do you keep a blonde busy? (see above)