Busy Jokes / Recent Jokes

T-Shirt Sayings for Women Who Take No Crap
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
Of course I don't look busy. .. I did it right the first time.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and tick you off at the same time.
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
Don't tick me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP!
Guys have feelings too. But like. .. who cares?
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Next mood swing: six minutes.
I hate everybody and you're next.
Please don't make me kill you.
And your point is. ..?
I used to be a schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
All stressed out and no one to choke.
I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
How can I miss more...

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Guys have feelings too. But like... who cares?
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
I hate everybody, and you're next.
Please don't make me kill you.
And your point is...?
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.
I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
You KNOW you want me.
Don't worry. It'll only seem kinky the first time...
Of course I don't look busy... I did it right the first time.
Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
You, me, whipped cream, handcuffs. Any questions?
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
All stressed out and no one to more...

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

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Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: I don't know, but make my stipend tax-free, give my advisor a $100, 000 grant of the taxpayer's money, and I'm sure he can tell me how to do the work for him so he can take the credit for answering this incredibly vital question.

Q: How many pre-med students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One hundred; one to change the lightbulb, the other ninety-nine to stand around wondering why they weren't chosen.

Q: How many medical students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They are too busy propping up the bar.

Q: How many computer studies students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They are far too busy hacking.

Q: How many maths students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 20. One to change it and the rest to watch and discuss how exciting it is.

Q: How many school teachers does it take to change a more...

Sheree Carroll said her Canine Coiffeurs place on West Washington Street stays busy by bathing, grooming and clipping dogs. The place is so busy that customers make appointments a year in advance.
So it was no surprise the waiting room was full recently when a woman arrived with two dogs for her scheduled appointment. She brought one of the animals into the shop and went back to her car for the second.
While she was out, one of the groomers came from the back and took the unattended dog inside for the works.
The dog, a mixed breed weighing perhaps 75 pounds, didn't appear to be the ordinary candidate for such special treatment. In fact, it appeared rather... well, not as clean as the dogs who frequent Canine Coiffeurs.
But the animal loved it -- the bath, the works. He rolled to his back and whined in ecstasy. When the groomers were finished, the brown dog was the happiest pet in the place.
When they brought the dog to the woman and prepared to pick up the more...

A boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about anurgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to theyoungster, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?""Yes," whispered the small voice."May I talk with him?" the man asked.To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No."Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"Yes," came the answer."May I talk with her?"Again the small voice whispered, "No."Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left homealone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the personwho should be there watching over the child."Is there anyone there besides you?" the boss asked the child."Yes," whispered the child, "a more...

Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room. "Who do you want to play?" Spielberg asked Bruce Willis. "I've always been a big fan of Chopin," said Bruce. "I'll play him." "And you, Sylvester?" asked Spielberg. "Mozart's the one for me!" said Sly. "And what about you?" Spielberg asked Arnold Schwarzenegger. "I'll be Bach," said Arnie.