Butler Jokes / Recent Jokes

A wealthy couple had plans to go to an evening ball. So they advised their butler that they were giving him the evening off to do as he pleased since they would be out until quite late.
The couple went to the ball and dinner. After an hour and a half, the wife told her husband that she was horribly bored and that she preferred to go home and finish some work for the next day. The husband responded that he had to stay for a few more hours to meet some very important people who were his new business partners.
So, the wife went home alone and found the butler spread out on the couch watching TV. She slowly moved towards him and sat down very seductively.
She asked him to come closer. Then even closer. She moved forward and whispered in his ear:
"Take off my dress...."
"Now, take off my bra."
"Next, remove my shoes and stockings."
"Now, remove my garter belt and panties."
She then looked deep into his eyes and in more...

The very snobbish wife was discussing the subject of Christmas presents with her maid. "Now what about the butler?" the rich woman said.

"A set of wine glasses?" the maid suggested.

The woman frowned icily. "He doesn't really need that. A butler never entertains. He'll get a tie."

The maid grimaced, but said only, "What about a dress for Jenny, the serving girl?"

The woman frowned again. "She doesn't really need a new dress. She'll only get in trouble. We'll get her another apron."

The conversation continued in the same vein, and the maid was chafing at her employer's arrogance when they reached her husband. "I assume you want to get him something he really needs, madam?" the maid replied.

"Of course," the woman replied.

"Then how about five more inches?"

A wealthy man goes to his office one morning. When he gets there he realizes
that he has left his wallet at home and there is something important in it
that he needs. He gets on the phone, calls home where the butler answers.
"James, I left my wallet in my pants, and I need you to get it for me. There
is an important paper that you can read to me over the phone."
The butler goes upstairs to the bedroom to get the wallet. A few minutes
later he comes back to the phone to tell the man, "I am sorry, your wife is
in the bedroom and she does not let me in to get the wallet!"
The man tells James, "I do not care about that! Tell her you need to get in!
Just get the wallet for me, now!"
James goes upstairs again, and returns a minute later, "Sir, I could not
find your wallet, but I did discover a man hiding in the room with your
wife!"
"What? I do not believe this! OK. Listen to me! This is what I more...