Butler Jokes / Recent Jokes

A butler came running into his important masters office. "Sir, sir, theres a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?" Without looking up from his work the master said, "Tell him I cant see him."

The dinner party
Freda and Moshe Levy won 8 million pounds in the National Lottery. They immediately went out to begin a life of living in luxury. They bought a luxurious mansion in Northwood, surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable and decided to hire a butler. After much searching, they found the perfect one.
One day, they instructed the butler to set up a dinner for four because they were inviting their friends, the Cohens, over for dinner and they will be going out for the day.
When they returned that evening, they found the table set for six. When they asked the butler why six places were set when they specifically instructed him to set the table for four, the butler replied: "The Cohens called and said that they were bringing the Bagels."

A Jewish couple won twenty-million dollars in the lottery.
They immediately set out to begin a life of luxury.
They bought a magnificent mansion estate in Southampton and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.
They then decided to have a butler and, wanting the best, they traveled to London to hire one. They found the perfect butler through an agency and brought him back
to their estate.
The day after his arrival, they instructed him to set up the dining room table for four, that they were inviting the Cohens to brunch.
The couple then left the house to do some shopping. When they returned, they found the table set for eight. They asked the butler why eight, when they had specifically instructed him to set the table for four. The butler replied, "The Cohens telephoned and said
they were bringing the Bagels and the Knishes."

Edward Lear, the 19th century English landscape painter, wrote affectionately of a favorite Duchess who gave enormous dinner parties attended by the cream of society.
One night she let out a ripper of a fart and quick as a flash, she turned her gaze to her stoic butler, standing, as always, behind her.
"Hawkins!" she cried, "Stop that!"
"Certainly, your Grace.", he replied with unhurried dignity, "Which way did it go?"

Since the wealthy couple had plans to attend an evening ball and would be out until very late, they told their butler he could have the night off to do as he pleased.
The couple went to the ball and dinner. After a couple of hours, the wife told her husband she was terribly bored and preferred to go home and finish some work for the next day.
The husband told her to go ahead, but he would have to stay for a few more hours to meet some important business partners.
The wife left for home and when she arrived, she found their butler sprawled out on the couch watching television.
She slowly moved towards him and sat down very seductively. She then told him to come closer. Then, closer still. She moved forward and whispered in his ear, ""Take off my dress. Now take off my bra. Now remove my shoes and stockings. Now remove my garter belt and panties."
She then looked deep into his eyes and in a very stern voice, shouted, "The next time I catch you more...

A very rich british golfer went to the golf course and was going to take the first shot on the first hole, when he asked,
"Butler, bring me my tee."
"Yes sir," said the butler, "with cream or sugar?"

A butler came running into his important master's office. "Sir, sir, there's a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?" Without looking up from his work the master said, "Tell him I can't see him."