Butt Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Ghost Shit-
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper,
but
there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit-
The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but
theres
no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit-
You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So yo end
up
putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't
ruin
them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Wet Cheeks Shit-
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt
cheeks
get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.
The Liquid Shit-
That's the sort where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of your arse,
splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time
burning
your tender anus.
The Mexican Food Shit-
In a class of it's own.
The Marketing Shit-
A turd which is more...
One day a poor old lady found a dollar and with that dollar she bought a lottery ticket. She won the lottery! She bought a house and a dog. She said to herself, "What should I name my house?" And she looked around and she saw a guy mooning her so she decided to name her house "Butt" Then she needed a name for her dog. So she looked around and saw a crack house so she named her dog "Crack".
One day about a month later she woke up and couldn't find her dog. She looked all over the house and she couldn't find it anywhere! So finally she called the cops and said, "Police please help me I've looked all over my Butt but I can't find my Crack!"
For BB King's birthday, his wife wanted to give him something very special! BB already had pretty much everything a person could want, money, fame and happiness! BB's wife decided to get "BB" tatooed on her butt, a "B" on each butt cheek.
That night, after eating dinner and cake, she decided to give BB her gift. After explaining that her gift was very special, she proceeded bend over and pull her pants down, revealing her bare, tatooed ass! She told "BB" to look.
He looked and said, "That's great honey... but who in the fuck is BOB?"
Alan and his wife, Debbie, are working in the garden. Debbie bends over to rip up weeds.' Wow, Debbie,' Alan says.' Your butt is getting really wide.'' No, it's not!' Debbie says. Debbie walks towards the barbecue grill to throw the weeds in a trash can.' Your butt is getting so big that it's almost wider than the grill!' Alan says. He gets a tape measure and measures Debbie and the grill.' Ha,' Alan says.' Your butt's the same exact size as the grill!' Debbie ignores Alan's comments and refuses to speak to him for three days. On the fourth night, they're lying in bed watching television.' I could sure use some lovin',' Alan says. Debbie looks over at him and yells,' Don't think for one minute that I'm going to fire up this big grill for one little weenie!'
A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said, " Hey honey, you're getting fat. Your butt is huge. I'll bet it's as wide as the gas grill."
Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife's butt. " Yep," he said, " Just what I thought, just about the same size."
The wife became incensed and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn't speak to him for the rest of the day.
When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, " How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?"
The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. " What's the matter?" he asked.
She replied, " You don't think I'm going to fire up this big ass grill for one little weenie, do you? "
The Ghost Poo: The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but there's no poo in the bowl.The Clean poo - The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but theres no poo on the toilet paper.The Wet Poo- You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.The Wet Cheeks Poo- That's the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water, or splash-back.The Second Wave Poo- This poo happens when you think you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poo some more.The Brain Haemorrhage-through-your-nose Poo- You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.The Lincoln Log Log- The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with more...
THE GHOST SHIT - That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.
THE CLEAN SHIT - The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
THE WET SHIT - It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize you have to shit some more.
BRAIN HEMORRAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT OR POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD SHIT - The kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.
THE ICEBERG SHIT - The kind where the shit is so long that the end of it stick s above the water.
THE RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT - The kind where you shit so much that you lose 30 pounds.
THE CORN SHIT - Self-explanatory.
THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT - The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush.
THE DRINKER'S SHIT - That is the kind of shit more...