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1. You can name everyone you graduated with2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home3. You know what 4-H is4. You ever went to "headlight parties"5. You used to drag "main"6. You said the' f' word and your parents knew within the hour7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't8. You ever went cow-tipping9. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the' buyer' for all of the best parties10. You have parties at the same guy's house12. School gets cancelled for state sporting events13. The town social events are their children's14. You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and, if you were old enough, they'd tell your parents, anyhow)15. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy smokes, you still had to go out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them16. Social acceptance in town more...
Three PAKISTANIS and three INDIANS are traveling by
train to a Cricket match at the World Cup, while in England.
At the station, the 3 INDIANS buy a ticket each and watch as the three PAKISTANIS buy just one ticket for them all.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the INDIANS. "Watch and learn," answers one of the PAKISTANI.
They all board the train. The INDIANS take their
respective seats but all three PAKISTANIS cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train departs, the ticket checker
comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says," Ticket please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The ticket checker takes it and moves on. The INDIANS see this and agree that it was quite a clever idea.
So after the game, they decide to copy the more...
One day Little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could buy him a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Little Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have an $80, 000 mortgage on the house, and you want me to buy you a bicycle? Wait until Christmas!"
Christmas came around, and Little Johnny asked again. The father said, "Well, the mortgage is still extremely high, sorry kiddo. Ask me again some other time."
Well, about 2 days later, the boy was seen walking out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. The father felt sorry for him, and asked him why he was leaving.
Little Johnny said, "Yesterday I was walking past your room, and I heard you say that you were' pulling out,' and mommy said that' you should wait because she was coming, too....'
"And I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna get stuck with your $80, 000 mortgage!"
Once A man walks into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows two beautiful ones out on the floor. This one’s Rs. 100. 00 and the other is Rs. 250. 00.
How much is that 3rd one?
Shop owner – That is for 500. 00.
Why – What’s special in it. Shop owner - Nothing but these two call him Boss.
3 Pakistani`s & 3 Indians are traveling by train to a
cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the
station, the 3 INDIANS buy a ticket each and watch as
the three PAKISTANIS buy just one ticket for them all.
"How are the 3 of you going to travel on only one
ticket?" asks one of the INDIAN "Watch and learn
"answer one of the PAKISTANI`s.
They all board the train. the INDIANS take their
seats but all three PAKISTANIS cram into a toilet and
close the door behind them. Shortly after the train
departs, the conductor comes around collecting
tickets.
He knock on the toilet door and says, "Ticket
please." the door opens just a crack and a single arm
emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it
and moves on.
The INDIANS see this and agree it was a clever idea.
so after the game, they decide to copy the PAKISTANI
style on the return more...
There is an Old Irish couple, Margaret and Patty. Margaret walks into the living room where Patty is and says, "Patrick, oh I am so proud of you, so proud. Last month, I told you that you were spending too much time at the pub and too much time away from me. Since then you haven't gone to the pub once and stayed home. I want to do something special for ya, I want to make ya a special dinner, special indeed." Patty replied, "Oh Margaret, you don't have to do that, don't trouble yourself." "No, it's no trouble" Margaret insisted, "In fact, when we were on holiday last year, you really enjoyed that Escargot. You go to the store and get them snails and I'll make' em up for ya." Patty got excited, "Oh, that would be wonderful!! O. K., o. k. I'll go right away."
So Patty goes to the store to get the snails, but has to pass the pub on the way. As he passes, everyone in the pub starts yelling, "Hey Patty!! Where ya been, Boy? more...
Cologne, May 27 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many "Big Mac" hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany`s leading institutes.
The Institute of the German Economy (IW) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald`s restaurant chain is increasingly being used by economists around the world as a measure of currencies` relative purchasing power.
The institute said that currency exchange rates are often unreliable as an instrument to measure purchasing power. At the same time, "baskets" of products used to arrive at comparative purchasing power are complicated to compile.
A simple alternative, now that McDonald`s has spread to virtually every country on earth, has become to look at what a Big Mac costs, the IW said.
"A particularly hungry American can buy five Big Macs for 11 dollars. If he exchanged the money into Deutsch-marks, his 18 marks in Germany more...