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Three lawyers and three MBA's are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the MBA's each buy tickets and watch as the three lawyers buy only a single ticket
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an MBA.
"Watch and you'll see," answers one of the lawyers.
They all board the train. The MBA's take their respective seats but all three lawyers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train departs, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The MBA's discussed this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the MBA's decide to copy the lawyers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their more...

An Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball on the tee, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

"Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any undies?" her husband demanded.

"Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's $20. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies.

"Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no undies. Why not?" She replies, "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's $10. Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her more...

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms

IBM

I Blame Microsoft

Idiots Buy Me

Idiots Building Machines

I'll Buy Macintoshes

It Bit Me

It Built Microsoft

It's Better Manually

I've Been Mislead

I've Been Mugged

WINDOWS

Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed

When I Need Data Output Without Speed

While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

WIN

Whoppingly Immense NOP

Worm Infestation Netware

MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT

My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some Network Technology

Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes, Never Totally

WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

Different Operating Systems Expectations

Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get

MS-DOS: You Asked more...

We buy things we don't need, with money we don't have, to impress people we don't know.

American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time. The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fis hing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several more...

One morning an elderly matron boarded a bus and occupied a seat without buying a ticket. The irate conductor addressed her rudely,' Budhiya (old woman), first buy your ticket before you sit down.'
The lady rasped back:' First learn to speak politely and then ask for money for a ticket. Instead of calling me a budhiya you should have said: "Jiji (elder sister), please buy a ticket."' The humbled conductor had to repeat the lady's words before he got the fare. Everyone was amused.
At the next stop, a hefty sadhu boarded the bus. This time the conductor got his own back. He addressed the sadhu very loudly:' Jeejaji (brother-in-law), you can take the vacant seat next to Jiji'