Byte Jokes / Recent Jokes
From "Machine Design" Magazine...... Byte BatAll too often, computers aren't up when you need them, or some sort of system error costs you a lot of time and effort. Hitting a computer or terminal with anything substantial can be satisfying, but expensive. That's where the Byte Bat comes in. It is a foam rubber baseball bat, 17 in. long, that may give you a harmless but satisfying way in which to "strike back" at computers. Specially designed to serve as a frustration shunt, the Byte Bat is compatible with all computers and operating systems, making it the first universally compatible foamware. Each Byte Bat comes with a complete user's manual, one genuine "Byte Bat User Button," one multi-color poster showing the device in use, and a warning decal that advises all who approach that "This computer-friendly liveware is protected by Byte Bat."
Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
From "Machine Design" Magazine.
..... Byte Bat
All too often, computers aren`t up when you need them, or some sort of system error costs you a lot of time and effort. Hitting a computer or terminal with anything substantial can be satisfying, but expensive. That`s where the Byte Bat comes in.
It is a foam rubber baseball bat, 17 in. long, that may give you a harmless but satisfying way in which to "strike back" at computers.
Specially designed to serve as a frustration shunt, the Byte Bat is compatible with all computers and operating systems, making it the first universally compatible foamware. Each Byte Bat comes with a complete user`s manual, one genuine "Byte Bat User Button," one multi-color poster showing the device in use, and a warning decal that advises all who approach that "This computer-friendly liveware is protected by Byte Bat."
Programmers do it byte by byte.
Programmers do it with bytes and nibbles.
Programmers try to do it again and again.
Programmers do it with acronyms.
Programmers do it by computer simulation.
Programmers do it according to the specifications.
Programmers do it over and over until they get it right.
Ada programmers do it by committee.
ALGOL 68 programmers do it odd.
APL programmers do it in a line.
Assembler programmers do it a bit at a time.
C++ programmers do it with class.
Fortran programmers do it with double precision.
LISP (programmers (do (it (with (parentheses))))).
Logo programmers do it for an educational experience.
Prolog programmers do it artificially.
Smalltalk programmers have more methods.
System programmers do it with interrupts.
Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
Shift to the left, shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!
If Microsoft was jewish...
Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC would get "Ferklempt".
"Year 2000" issues are replaced by "Year 5760-5761" issues.
Hanukkah screen savers will have "Flying Dreidels".
Your PC shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
After your computer dies, you would dispose of it within 24 hours.
Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
"Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already - You're killing me!, You vant I should try it again?, I didn't hear that!".
When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove the cable from your PC's tuchis".
Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!".
Internet Explorer would now have a spinning more...