Cab Jokes / Recent Jokes

> >
> > NUN STORY
> >
> > A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a
> > small, high, voice, "Could you please take me to Times Square?"
> >
> > In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation,
> > "Hey sista, that's kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat?
> >
> > The nun says, "Why no my son, whatever is on your mind?"
> >
> > The cabbie, "About dis celibacy thing. Are you telling me you
> > never think about doin' it?
> >
> > The nun, "Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my
> > mind a time or two. I am of weak human flesh you understand."
> >
> > The cabbie, "Well, woulda ever consider, you know, doin' it?"
> >
> > The nun, "Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very
> > unique circumstance, I might consider it.
> >
> > The cabbie, "Well what would dose more...

There was once a Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in a particular business district in the Philippines. As he stepped out of the airport, he hailed the local cab, board it and requested his destination to be Manila Hotel. As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard. Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, verri powerful. verri faast!!" Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, verri fasto. Also verri good!, very faast" The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look thru the rear mirror and was quite resented over the Jap's proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it. "Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, also verri good, very more...

A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What's that building there?" "That's the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie. "12 years? We build' em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months." A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What's that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That's the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long'd it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build' em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, and it only more...

On a visit to Chicago, I was eager to visit a posh department store about a dozen blocks from our hotel.
My husband obligingly hailed a cab.
"The lady wants to go to Neiman Marcus," he told the driver.
The cabby looked over his shoulder at us.
"And the gentleman?" he asked, "Does he want to go to the bank?"

The General went out to find that none of his G. I. s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G. I. go. Moments later, eight more G. I. s came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."
The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G. I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily.
"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran more...

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife is going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were several cabs and I was in the wrong one. ******************** At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," the patient said sadly. ******************** One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart." ******************** I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how was your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used more...

A nun gets into a cab in New York. She demurely says in a small, high voice, "Could you please take me to Times Square?"
In a thick Brooklyn accent the cabbie initiates conversation, "He sista, that's kinda a long drive? You mind if we, like, chat?"
"Why no, my son, whatever is on your mind?"
"About this celibacy thing. Are you telling me you never think about doin'it?"
"Why certainly, my son, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two. I am of weak human flesh, you understand!"
"Well would ya ever consider, you know doin'it?"
The nun thinks a while
"Well, I suppose under certain conditions, in a very unique circumstance, I might consider it."
"Well, what would dose conditions happen to be?"
"He'd have to be Catholic, unmarried and, well certainly he could have no children."
"Sista, today is your lucky day. I'm all three. Why do youse come more...