Cadillac Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter."So," Peter asks the first guy, "how many times did you cheat on your wife?""None. I had a perfect marriage." "Great," says Peter. "You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?""Only twice, I think," says the second guy."Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?""12 times. Maybe 13," says the third guy. "Okay," says Peter. "You get a rusty Ford." Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercdes crying. "What's wrong?""I just saw my wife.""So?""She was riding a skateboard."
A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.
"What can I do for ya'll?" asks the attendant.
"Fill `er up with high test," replies the driver.
While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before."
"Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my boy is a 1998 Cadillac DeVille."
"What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant.
"Well," says the driver, "it has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 more...
A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump. "What can I do for y'all?" asks the attendant. "Fill `er up with high test," replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he's looking the car up and down. "What kinda car is this?" he asks. "I never seen one like it before." "Well," responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, "this, my boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille." "What all's it got in it?" asks the attendant. "Well," says the driver, "it has everything. It's loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk more...
One of the ways the new health care bill will be paid for is taxes on high-end health plans--the so-called "Cadillac" plans. I wish I had a Cadillac plan. My health insurance plan is a more like a "Yugo" plan. "Yugo" to the doctor, you pay. "Yugo" to the hospital, you pay.
Three men who died the same day were presented before God. The almighty showed particular interest in their sex life. The first one replied that he never had an affair before or after he was married. God granted him a chauffeur-driven Cadillac. The second man admitted he had some affairs before he was married but none afterwards. God gave him an Ambassador car. The third man confessed to having had lots of affairs. God gave him a scooter. A few days later the man with the scooter saw the fellow with the chauffeur-driven Cadillac sitting by the roadside and crying. The scooterist asked him, why was he upset. Replied the Cadillac owner, "I've just seen my wife ride past on a bicycle."