Caller Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
"Listen Honey," drawled the lady, "If you can hold it in one hand, I ain't interested."

One day, someone phoned Central Manhattan Office.
Caller: Good afternoon. I'm John Smith.
Operator: GOOD AFTERNOON! CAN I HELP YOU?
Caller: Who are you? Why are you so rude?
Operator: WHO ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?
Caller: I am looking for my sister, Gabrielle Smith. She works here, right?
Operator: SHE IS IN THE TOILET!
Caller: Okay. Now I want to know who you are. Why are you so rude?
Operator: I'M SAW LEE!
Caller: Oh, you should be sorry because you are so rude!
Then the caller hung up the phone.
*Try to pronounce "SAW LEE". It sounds like "SORRY", right?

Actual calls to technical supportComputer novices may feel like they`re alone these days, but some of the following calls to IBM`s help center show there are plenty of people out there who still are inching onto the information superhighway.

After a caller gave a technician her PC`s serial number, he scanned a database of registered users and responded, "I see you have an Aptiva" desktop unit. Before he could say another word, the caller shrieked and said she`d be right back. When the customer returned, the technician asked if she was all right. The caller responded: "Had I realized you could see me, I never would have telephoned in my bathrobe."

A customer who had just received a laptop computer asked about the power-saving feature known as "hibernate." Would this hibernate device work in the spring and summer, the caller asked.

Another caller explained she had received a gift of software on 5. 25-inch diskettes, but she more...

Caller: Operator! Operator! Call me an ambulance! Operator: Okay. Youre an ambulance!

I spotted the following in the New York Times last week:
A friend of mine received a phone call. "Who is this?" a
woman's voice answered.
"Whom do you want to speak to?" my friend asked.
"Did you say 'whom'?" the caller inquired after a
somewhat startled pause.
"Yes," my friend said.
"I have the wrong number," the caller said.
Then she hung up.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into his typewriter to type the labels.
4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes.
5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the more...

The following are actual phone calls made to I. R. S. offices across the United States.
Caller: I want to know if I should file married or single.
IRS: Are you married?
Caller: Well, sort of...
IRS: What?
Caller: Well, we did get married, but we're not counting on it.
Caller: I got a letter from you guys and I want to know what you want.
IRS: What does it say?
Caller: Just a minute, I'll open it.
Caller: I'm a bookkeeper and I need to know if ten $100 bills make a thousand dollars or only ten hundred dollars.
IRS: Both. It's the same amount.
Caller: So why do I get a different answer every time I move the decimal point?
Caller: What does the law say about people who are renting to relatives and taking a loss on the property?
IRS: You are required to charge them fair market value.
Caller: It's very fair. If we rented to someone else we could get a lot more.