Camera Jokes / Recent Jokes

On the first day of Christmas my CNN Anchor showed to me
A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 2nd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 4th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 5th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 6th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
6 Field Producers;
5 Camera Men.....
4 Teleprompters;
3 Telephones;
2 Microphones;
and A Lap Top on the news desk.
On the 7th day of Christmas, my CNN Anchor gave to me,
7 Perky Reporters;
6 Field more...

During a high school break-in in Plymouth, North Carolina, two burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn't figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn't loaded and left it behind. The men apparently didn't realize they'd been fooling around with a digital camera that stores pictures on a computer disk. Investigators downloaded the snapshots to a computer and got a complete photographic record of the break-in. The suspects were quickly arrested.
A luckless thief pleaded guilty to the attempted robbery of a convenience store in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. The thief told a passer-by he was going to rob the store, gave the man a dollar, and asked him to go inside and buy a scarf to hide his identity during the crime. The bystander took the dollar, went inside the store... and called the police.

A man was driving. He passed a trafic camera and saw it flash. Fearing being caught speeding, he turned around and going at snails speed, he passed it. Again it flashed. He thought it must have a fault and went home. Next day he received 2 traffic fines for not wearing a seatbelt

1. But everybody looks funny naked!
2. You woke me up for that?
3. Did I mention the video camera?
4. Do you smell something burning?
5. (In the back seat of a car) And they say romance is dead…
6. Try breathing through your nose.
7. A little rug burn never hurt anyone!
8. Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
9. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
10. But whipped cream makes me break out.
11. Person 1: This is your first time.. right? Person 2: Yeah.. today.
12. (In the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
13. Can you please pass me the remote control?
14. Do you accept Visa?
15. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
16. On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.
17. And to think I was really trying to pick up your friend!
18. So much for mouth-to-mouth.
19. (Using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
20. Hope you’re as good- looking when I’m sober…
21. more...

The Pope wakes up one morning with a huge erection. Thinking that it wasn't very Catholic, he tries to get rid of it. Unfortunately, walking around the room, thinking about the Bible and even getting some fresh air on the balcony all fail to soften him up. With only one option left, he sat down on the balcony and relieved himself.
Later, the Pope was walking around Rome, when a man with a camera approached him. "Hello, Mr. Pope," the man says. "Six o'clock this morning, on the balcony, I think you know what I'm talking about."
"I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean," the Pope replied.
"Oh, I think you do," the man retorted, "and 50 thousand will buy you the camera."
Worried and confused, the Pope paid up and took the camera.
Back in the Vatican, one of the Pope's aides was asking about the camera. "A chap in town sold it to me for 50 thousand," the Pope explained.
"50 thousand?" said more...

One morning the Pope awoke in his bed chamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection. Perplexed, he called on his personal physician.
"Doctor, this should not be possible," he said, "I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 30 years!"
The doctor's reply was, "Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time".
The Pope exclaimed "But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!"
The doctor replied "You have two options. .. either I can administer an injection to your penis to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself."
Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option. Unbeknown to him, a paparazzi photographer has sneaked into the more...

A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature. He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush.
As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morn, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground. After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the lever. Just as he does, he hears a voice say, "Don't touch that lever."
The driver jumps about two feet off the ground, and as he comes down, he looks around. No one is to be seen. Thinking it was just his imagination, he again reaches for the lever. Again the voice yells, "I said don't touch that lever!"
Being more prepared, the driver senses the location of the voice and looks down under a sage brush. There he sees a small snake.
The driver, in much astonishment, said, "Was that you that more...