Campaign Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given in honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, in Spanish, "No go."1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?"2. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious adult magazine.3. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).4. Pepsi's "Come Alive With the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back From the Grave" in Chinese.5. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Kekoukela", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" more...

“American Idol's” Carrie Underwood is the latest celebrity to appear as a spokesman for the Oklahoma Library Association’s, “Read, Ya’ll” literacy campaign. Unfortunately, no celebrities have yet to join Oklahoma’s other educational campaign, “Math, Bitches!”

1689 - Spanish-German explorer Santa Claus discovers the North Pole, and establishes a small base camp.

1691 - Because of harsh and meager living conditions, Claus' crew abandons him. 1692 - Claus is rescued by the Viking ship Hvorfor. He returns to Europe, bringing some items along with him from the North Pole. He finds he is able to sell them quite easily, making a small profit. 1703 - Claus saves up enough money to buy a small ship and crew, and returns to the North Pole. Upon arriving, he finds his base camp, half-buried but still intact. 1704 - Claus returns to Europe with a shipload of North Pole artifacts, and is successful in selling them. He makes enough profit to increase his crew, and buys building materials to expand his polar base.

1705 - Claus returns again to the North Pole, and builds quarters for him and his crew, and sets up the Polar Exports Company.

1716 - After six shiploads of exports, the European market is flooded with polar more...

Some key definitions to help decode Clinton`s speeches. More will be added as the President`s meaning becomes clear. Remember, do not attach meaning to words, it`s symbolism that is important.

All - Clinton`s constituency. as: We ALL must make sacrifices to restore America`s economic health.

Ask - Clintoneze for legislate. i. e. asking: legislating.

Campaign promise - actually, this is a misspelling. It really is champagne promise.

Change - (verb) redefinition of the term "tax cut" to its true meaning, "contribution". (noun) That portion of your income that will now be heading to Washington, As: The change we are asking for is necessary if we are to restore America`s (and, uh, Washington`s) economy to number one in the world.

Contribution - that portion of your "excess" income that Washington believes it can make better use of than you. This `90s term is designed to make you feel good while Uncle Sam more...

Browne sued McCain for using his song "Running on Empty" in a campaign video without his permission. This isn't the first time McCain used music without permission in a political campaign. In 1780, he was sued by Mozart.

Pig farmers have never done well in the United States. Most Americans prefer beef to pork. Hamburger is an American favorite but contains no ham. The porcine raisers were hopeful to see a significant increase in their business after the scares about health over beef, but most of the benefits had gone to the poultry and fish industries, Sale of ham and bacon remained virtually unchanged.
Because of this, The National Porcine Association hired a major Madison Avenue advertising firm to boost sale of pork products. They decided on an intensive campaign to saturate magazines television and radio with ads urging people to eat pork patties.
The campaign was given an extra boost when Congress was convinced to designate the second of February as the day when every family would be urged to eat pork sausage. That day would be celebrated nationally, of course, as. .. Ground Hog Day.