Campbell Jokes / Recent Jokes
The parents of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell are upset that a New Jersey supermarket denied an order to make a birthday cake with their son's name on it. The parents are also upset that the supermarket did not carry birthday candles shaped like swastikas.
Campbell's Soup Company has announced plans for a new line of soups for senior citizens. The first to be announced is Campbell's Large Type Alphabet Soup.
A new soup introduced this week by Campbell's
The Nations largest Soup Manufacturer Campbell's Soup announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with their newest Soup creation, "Clinton Soup"
It will honor one the nations most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water.
Our local PBS outlet here has been showing a series of
Joseph Campbell lectures, as they always do when it's
time to wring a little money out of the viewers. On a
recent episode, the late Professor Campbell was talking
about the time when life begins, and he told this little
story:
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi
were discussing when life begins.
"Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization.
That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus."
"We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth,
because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is
capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin."
"You've both got it wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins
when the children have graduated from college and moved out of
the house..."
Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: "We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately".
The three models start preparing for the worst.
Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face. Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask: "What in the hell are you doing fixing your make-up when we're about to crash?". Claudia responds: "I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces".
Cindy Crawford rips open her blouse to expose two beautiful mounds of flesh which inexplicably defy the law of gravity. Totally confused, Naomi and Claudia shout: "Cindy, have you lost your senses? Why are you baring your breasts for everyone to see when we are about to die?" Cindy responds: "I have it on more...