Freaking Jokes

Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: “We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately! ”
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face.
Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask: “What in the hell are you doing fixing your make-up when we are about to freaking crash! ”
Claudia responds: I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces- which is why I am putting on my make-up. ”
Cindy Crawford rips open her blouse to expose two beautiful mounds of flesh which inexplicably defy the law of gravity. Totally confused, Naomi and Claudia shout: “Cindy, have you lost your senses? Why are you baring your breasts for everyone to see when we are about more...

December 14

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always,

Agnes

========================================================

December 15

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love,

Agnes

=========================================================

December 16

Dear John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my more...

A man was walking across the road when he had an accident. The impact was on his head, which caused him to be comatose for two days before he finally regained consciousness. When he opened his eyes, his wife was there beside him.
He held her hands and said meaningfully: "You have always been by my side. When I was a struggling University student, I failed again and again. And sometimes, even my re-papers as well. You were there beside me, encouraging me to go on trying..."
She squeezed his hands as he continued: "When I went for all the major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there beside me, cutting out more adverts for me to apply...."
He continued: "Then I started work at this little firm and finally got to handle a big contract. I blew it because of one little mistake. And you were there beside me."
"Then I finally got another job after being laid off for some time. But I never seem to be promoted and my more...

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Crashing Supermodels
Naomi Campbell, Claudia Schiffer, and Cindy Crawford are flying to a super models conference in Paris, when the captain of the plane announces: "We have just lost power to the engines and are going to make an emergency crash landing - assume the brace position immediately!"
Immediately the three models start preparing for the worst. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up and starts fixing her face.
Bewildered, Naomi and Cindy ask: "What in the hell are you doing fixing your make-up when we are about to freaking crash!"
Claudia responds: I know for a fact the rescue workers will search for, and save first, the ones who have the best looking faces- which is why I am putting on my make-up."
Cindy more...

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