Camping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two guys, Joe & Bill went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Joe wakes his faithful friend and says, "Bill, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Bill replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asked Joe.
Bill ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies, and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning.
Theologically, it's evident the
Lord is all-powerful and we are small, and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you, Joe?"
Joe is silent for a moment, then says, "Bill, you stupid moron, someone has stolen our tent."

Three couples went out camping. The three husbands stayed in one tent and the three wives stayed in the other.
At about 3 in the morning, Bob woke up and yelled, "Wow, unbelivable!"
Bill woke up and asked, "What's going on?"
Bob said, "I've got to go to the other tent and find my wife."
"How come?"
"To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I've ever had in my life!"
After a pause, Bill said, "Do you want me to come with you?"
"Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?"
"Because that's my dick you're holding."

Two guys are out hunting deer. The first guy says, "Did you see that?""No," the second guy says."Well, a bald eagle just flew overhead," the first guy says."Oh," says the second guy.A couple of minutes later, The first guy says, "Did you see that?""See what?" the second guy asks."Are you blind? There was a big, black bear walking on that hill, over there.""Oh."A few minutes later the first guy says: "Did you see that?"By now, the second guy is getting aggravated, so he says, "Yes, I did!"And the first guy says: "Then why did you step in it?"

Camping by the Colorado River, a woman was surprised to see a man rowing down the river screaming, "No! No! No!" Spotting another woman down the shore, she ran over. •
"Say," she said quickly, "shouldn't we do something to help that man? He seems to be in distress."
The other woman looked up, her expression placid. "Oh, he's my husband, and he's just fine."
"If he's fine, then why is he rowing down the river screaming' no'?"
The other woman smiled. "During the week he's a corporate' yes' man."

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.
Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.
They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.
About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."
Sally replied, "I don't understand! more...

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought."Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should more...

Terry and Debbie were camping with their parents deep in the woods. How far is it to town? Terry wanted to know. Six miles, said Debbie. Thats too far to walk, Terry replied. Its not too bad, Debbie said. We can each walk three miles!