Campus Jokes / Recent Jokes

In its ongong efforts to salvage its reputation from charges of rampant anti-Semitism on campus and in the classroom, Columbia University has now invited Iranian President Ahmadinejad to speak today. Opening for him will be Adolf Hitler's ghost.



Well that was supposed to be a joke, Folks. But here's the update, from Columbia dean John Coatsworth:

If Hitler were willing to engage in a debate, and a discussion, to be challenged by Columbia students and faculty, we would certainly invite him.
(Of course, both Ahmadinejad and Hitler would need far less security on a college campus than would speakers like George W. Bush, Benjamin Netanyahu or Ann Coulter.)

20 Signs You've Been on Campus too Long
You...
Think that McDonald's/Burger King is "real food."
Know more than 5 uses for milk crates.
Can give a guided tour to anyone after 2 weeks.
Call home and think it's a wrong number.
Call your best friend's house and think it's the right number to your house.
Can sing your school's fight song after only one weekend.
Think that going to the mall is a special trip.
Start doing homework.
Have conversations about homework.
Know your roomie's life like it was your own.
Ask your girlfriend "out" to the campus restaurant.
Stay in the dorm for weekends.
Call your dorm room "home."
Have a list of carbon copies as long as I do for one piece of E-Mail.
Start thinking that the only people left on earth are the people who go to your college/university.
Can recommend web sites to your friends.
Know about more web sites than Yahoo!
Want to be Greek, even more...

My penis made me locally famous. I didn't find out about it until I got tothe University. Before then my experience with women was non-existent. I'dbeen at a boys' school, and anyway I was pretty spotty. I couldn't believewhen, all of a sudden, at the Freshman Ball, I was snuggling. I was evenmore amazed when we were in her room. We were both wasted. I didn't have aclue how to behave, I was terrified, but she knew what to do and in no time we were naked, in bed. She was kissing my mouth. My neck. My chest, my stomach, my....-- She stopped."Oh my goodness!" she said, incredulous, "Your cock tastes just likeCHOCOLATE!"Melanie (her name) wasn't a shy girl. She must have told her friend Suzy. I realized this the next day when a very attractive girl, with hip clothes and trainers, approached me in the Union Bar and just started chatting. This had NEVER happened to me before. She asked me if I wanted to hear a new CD she'd bought, and then we were in her room. Halfway more...

FOODPORN: Pornography for dieters (?) by Frank LaRosa
Brought to you by Searchlight bbs 516-724-0971
Dear Editors,
I read your fine magazine eagerly each month, and one of my
favorite features is the letters you receive from your readers. I
always enjoy hearing about their exploits, but until now I never
thought anything like that could ever happen to me. However all that
changed last Friday night, when I had one of the most incredible
experiences of my life, and felt I just had to write and share it
with everyone.
It was about 10:30 PM and I was sitting in my dorm room going
over some boring math homework that I really didn't feel like doing.
Normally there is plenty to do on Friday nights at my college, but it
was the first day of spring break and the campus was practically
deserted. Since I couldn't afford to go to Florida with my buddies,
I was forced to spend the vacation on campus by myself. I was fully
expecting a more...

My penis made me locally famous. I didn't find out about it until I got tothe University. Before then my experience with women was non-existent. I'dbeen at a boys' school, and anyway I was pretty spotty. I couldn't believewhen, all of a sudden, at the Freshman Ball, I was snuggling. I was evenmore amazed when we were in her room. We were both wasted. I didn't have aclue how to behave, I was terrified, but she knew what to do and in no time we were naked, in bed. She was kissing my mouth. My neck. My chest, my stomach, my....- She stopped."Oh my goodness!" she said, incredulous, "Your cock tastes just likeCHOCOLATE!"Melanie (her name) wasn't a shy girl. She must have told her friend Suzy. I realized this the next day when a very attractive girl, with hip clothes and trainers, approached me in the Union Bar and just started chatting. This had NEVER happened to me before. She asked me if I wanted to hear a new CD she'd bought, and then we were in her room. Halfway more...