Canadian Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians"."Indeed we are", replied the Canadian gentleman."I hope you won't mind my asking," said the Brit, "but what do the two red bars on your flag represent?""Well," replied the Canadian gentlman, "one of the bars stands for the courage and hardiness of our people in settling the cold expanses and broad prairies of our country. The other is for the honesty and integrity for which Canadians are known."
The Brit mulled this over and nodded. Having poor eyesight at his advanced age, and not being familiar with maple leaves, he then asked, "And what's that six-pointed item in the middle of your flag?"
"Oh, that's to remind us of the six words of our more...
Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder.
"I have an idea," said Mike. "We`ll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder."
"What, do you think I`m stupid? I have an idea. I`ll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light."
"What, do you think I`m stupid? You`ll just turn off the flashlight when I`m halfway there."
A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"
"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.
"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade.
Smarties
Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp
The size of our footballs fields and one less down.
Baseball is Canadian
Lacrosse is Canadian
Hockey is Canadian
Basketball is Canadian
Apple pie is Canadian
Mr. Dress-up vs. Mr. Rogers
Tim Horton's vs. Dunkin' Donuts
In the war of 1812, which was started by Americans, Canadians pushed the Americans WAY back... past the White House. Then we burned it... and most of Washington. All of this was done under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied... go figure!
Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
Our civil war was only a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who more...
Here's some sure signs you may be a Canadian... You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk" You understand, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine." You know what it means to be on' pogey'. You know that "a mickey" and "2-4's" mean "Party at the cabin, eh!!" You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem. You can drink legally while still a' teen'. You don't give a hoot about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars. You're not sure if the leader of our nation has EVER had sex and don't want to know if he has! You get milk in bags as well as cartons and plastic jugs. You know that Mounties "don't always look like that." You know that Canada is the only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. You dismiss all beers under 6% alcohol content as "for children and the elderly, and for export to the more...