Canadian Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican.
They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons.
The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. The tribe chief says to the Candian, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The Canadian responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him 10 times.
When he is finished the Canadian has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the Canadian away, and say to the Mexican,
"What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!, I will take my punishment like a real man!" says the Mexican, and he boldly stands there and takes his 10 lashings without a single flinch.
Finally, it's the Yank's turn and the tribal chief asks:
"What will you take on your back?"
And he responds more...
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pubtogether. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Justas they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed ineach of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continueddrinking it as if nothing had happened. The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking itover the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub
together. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Just
as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in
each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it
over the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pubtogether. The proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian. Justas they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed ineach of their pints.The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continueddrinking it as if nothing had happened.The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking itover the pint, yelling... "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!"
there was three guys walking a long a road there was a canadian usuma bin larden and uncel sam.
they came across a lamp and picked it up and rubed it out came a geini it said "you can have 1 wish each for there are three of you and makes a grand totall of 3 wishes".
so the canadian wishes for all the soil in canada to be firtil and it was and there he was in canada.
then usuma bin larden said "i want you to build a wall around afghanistan so no one can get in or out" the geini granted his wish and he was home with a big wall around afghanistan.
uncle sam was intrested in usama bin larden wish and asked how big is this wall the geini replied "it is 150,000 high and invicebal to all atacks" uncel sam says after a while
"fill it with water"
Q: Why did the Canadian cross the road? A: He saw some American do it on TV.
A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation. There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel. The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,"What's that" says the Texan"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big". Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan. They continue along and past First Canadian Place." Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?" Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build"." Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time"They continue on the way, the cabby a little miffed at the bragging, when they drive past more...